Chapter 4: Cat Weh Sabi Film

Just as I reason am.

My finger dey shake, sweat dey my face—even with AC.

Everything clear pass daybreak. The cat brain pass computer.

I show the video to the vet, e mouth open.

The vet dey watch like say e dey see African magic for real life. "Na wah o."

The video show my cat watch as I enter kitchen, waka round living room. When e sure say I no go come out, e waka go bedroom. I switch to bedroom camera: the cat find thumbtack, look the camera well, carry the pin for mouth, waka go where camera no dey see. E try different place, dey look back to check if I dey come.

The way e dey look camera, you go know say this one get plan. E hide for wardrobe, wait. E fit even dey calculate. Who teach animal chess?

Few seconds later, I appear, carry the cat go out.

E surprise me say e fit dey plan e own injury. For my mind, wahala don wear coat.

Everything clear now.

The vet just hiss, shake head—"Wonders shall never end!"

Me and vet just dey cold. This one no be normal pet cat behavior. E plan everything just to remain for my house.

I remember all those stories for village—cat wey get seven lives. This one na grandmaster.

But… why e wan stay like that?

Maybe e dey fear street. Maybe na my food sweet pass. Or e dey guard me from evil? Who know wetin dey the heart of cat?

As I sabi, plenty cats no dey mind to waka for street. For some, to dey wild na better life.

For Ajegunle, you go see stray cats wey dey form gang, dey run up and down, dey hunt for gutter, dey fight for fish bone behind mama put. But this my own, e prefer A/C and DSTV.

The vet look me, e body no too settle. “You wan do psychological test for your cat?”

I surprise. “Dem dey do that one for animal?”

This one na new gist for me. I never hear am before.

The vet nod. “Yes, pet business don big now—plenty new things dey. But I no sure which hospital dey do am.”

Omo! Na so Lagos don advance. People dey do test for animal mind. E shock me.

I call Musa sharp sharp. “You sabi how dem dey test pet mind?”

Musa no too get patience. “I no tell you make you throway am? Why you still dey worry?”

I hear am, but this kain cat, e no fit just waka like that. I get soft heart.

I sigh. “This cat even sabi fake injury.”

That one catch Musa attention. “Abeg, gist me.”

If you know Musa, you go sabi say anything wey concern research dey ginger am.

I send am the CCTV video. Few minutes later, Musa call back, voice dey ginger. “Your cat na better research specimen. Bring am come, make I test am. Make we see wetin this small devil fit do.”

E dey rush me, say make I carry cat come sharp sharp. I begin package cat for carrier, still dey pray make e no run.