Chapter 3: Ants, Nightlife, and Red Alert
I throw the pregnancy test for dustbin, use tissue cover am well.
Na so I dey hide evidence. If cleaner or house girl see am, story fit spread reach Facebook. For Naija house, gist dey travel faster than danfo. I wrap am inside black nylon, squeeze am under other dirt, pray say nobody go perceive anything.
I wan kpai.
See as fear grip me. For my mind, I dey ask, "Na who I offend?" The thing heavy for chest like cement block.
Belle.
That single word. If you never experience am, you no go understand. Na joy and wahala dey inside one package.
My heart dey beat like drum.
I fit swear say neighbor for upstairs go hear am. The heartbeat dey loud, e dey my ear. I dey sweat, palm dey cold.
Wetin I go do? Wetin I go do?
For Naija, belle no be small matter, especially if you never ready. I dey reason all my aunties wey dem chase commot house. "God abeg!"
Somebody knock bathroom door—one deep, sweet male voice: "Baby, why you lock door?"
Tobi own voice sweet pass Olamide for track. But today, e dey get as e be. I no get strength.
Voice sweet, but for now e dey vex me.
Normally, I go smile. But today, wahala dey my mind. The sweet no enter, abeg.
I form story: "I dey baff."
Sharp girl, I fit lie small. No be say I dey do bad thing, just dey protect myself.
Outside, he talk: "No be today we dey baff together. Baby, open the door."
Na so Tobi dey. E like make we do everything together. But today, abeg, make e wait.
I sharply nack towel, open door.
Na so I package myself, tie towel tight like say I dey run 100 meters. I open door, pretend say nothing dey happen.
As I open am, before I fit see face, e don carry me for chest.
E sharp, e no dey waste time. I just land for chest, dey feel him heartbeat.
Hold me tight, chin rest for my head.
E get one way e dey hold me—like say I be treasure. Chin dey touch my head, as if e dey pray.
Na bitter leaf scent full everywhere.
E dey use one bitter leaf soap. I go tease am say e dey smell like grandma kitchen, but e say e like am.
He talk first: "Baby, that woman wey you see today na my old secondary school padi. She call my name, but I swear, I don forget her face. I just dey wonder how she sabi me, na im make me yarn with her. Nothing dey between us."
E go just explain, before wahala go start. Tobi sabi how my mind dey fly. E dey always try clear air, before I go reason another thing.
"For school sef, nothing dey. I no do girlfriend, I no do any rubbish."
E dey always claim say e pure. Na so all men dey talk, but Tobi dey act like say e really mean am. I no go lie, sometimes e dey make sense.
"I no explain quick because I wan make you jealous. Baby, no vex."
E dey like play small game. Sometimes I dey fall, sometimes I bone.
All this one wey he dey talk, my mind no dey there.
Today, my mind just dey for another level. All this explanation na background noise. I dey reason my own matter.
I just say, "I no vex."
I no get energy for wahala. Today, make everybody rest.
"You dey vex. Your mood dey somehow."
E sharp, e dey always notice. I try smile, but my face no gree.
Na because my period never show.
If to say e know, e go calm down. But I no fit talk.
My period dey always steady.
E dey run like BRT, no dey miss schedule. This time, e disappear. E mean say wahala dey near.
Last month, for his birthday, na him beg me.
That day na movie. Everything sweet, we no even remember outside world. Na birthday, na enjoyment.
We no comot house for one whole day and night.
We just dey, dey do like lovebirds. Netflix, food, gist, everything dey flow.
I forget my pill.
Na so e happen. For this life, one small thing fit change everything. I no fit blame anybody.
I try calm myself, put hand for his neck: "No, na your mind dey play you."
I dey try do damage control. Make e no suspect anything. Na so we dey do sometimes, just to keep peace.
He look me well.
E dey use that eye, like say e dey see through my mind. I dey try hold myself.
I blink. "I swear, I no vex."
Na true, I just dey tired. E no be vex, na worry.
He still dey frown.
You know men, dem no dey hear word. E go dey look you, dey find answer inside your eye.
"You dey vex."
At this point, I just give up. Argument no dey finish for this life. If you know Tobi, you go know say e like win talk.
I no get strength argue. I kiss am, begin open him belt.
Na my own way be that. If talk no work, action go solve am. Make everybody rest.
Tobi just leave me: "Why e dey always end like this?"
E shock me small. Normally, na him dey rush. Today, e bone. I just dey reason, "Wetin dey do this guy?"
He push me commot, waka go bathroom.
E waka dey go like say I offend am. No wahala, I dey here.
Me:
I look myself for mirror.
As I dey look mirror, I dey remind myself say I still dey fresh. No make-up, skin dey glow, body still dey intact. For this Lagos, fine girl suppose dey appreciate herself, no matter the wahala.
See as I fine, even without makeup. Body correct.
No be my fault, abeg.
If God dash person better face, make you thank am. E no easy.
Wetin dey do Tobi self?
I dey reason am. Na him get wahala? Abi na me? Life sometimes dey tire person.