Chapter 4: Night Moves and Silent Fights

After I baff finish, I come out. Before I talk, Tobi don carry pyjamas, enter bathroom.

E sharp, no wan hear story. I just dey look am. I no sabi the wahala wey dey bite am.

I no sabi wetin dey vex am.

Even my small eye no fit see the thing wey dey bite am for mind. Sometimes, men fit carry grudge pass women.

He talk say na me dey vex, but na him face dey strong.

For Naija, na so e dey be. Person go dey form, meanwhile na him dey carry shoulder up.

I lie for bed, dey play Ludo King for my phone, dey think how I go pet am later.

If you see as I dey try move my dice, my mind no dey game. I dey reason how I go use small touch, small smile, pet Tobi later. For Naija, woman fit use pet solve wahala.

Tonight, Tobi get event, text me make I come carry am.

E get one event for Island. I even think say na him driver go pick am, but e talk say na me. Maybe e dey miss my face, maybe e just wan hold me small.

Driver fit do am, but he say na me. Maybe he just wan give me something do.

You know men, sometimes dem just want make you dey close, make you see their shine. I no mind. E dey show say e dey value me, even if sometimes e get as e be.

I go.

Sharp sharp, I clean up, change cloth, arrange my hair. For Lagos, you no dey waka late if you no ready. I dey pray make traffic no hold me for bridge.

I no like the smell for that club, so I wait outside.

The place dey smell like old beer and cigarette. My nose no gree. I just find small bench outside, dey chill, dey scroll phone.

To avoid late, I come early, wait taya.

Na so Lagos be. If you no come early, dem go vex. I wait, dey count car wey dey pass, dey play with my braid.

I squat for gutter, dey watch ant carry crumbs. I even open gala, dey chop, dey share crumbs give them.

As I dey squat, I dey pity the ants. See as dem dey hustle. I break small gala, drop for ground. Even them, dem dey collect blessing.

By the time the ants carry third crumb, Tobi come out.

I hear noise, see bouncers dey push people. I look up, na so I see Tobi head shine for crowd.

I hear noise, turn look.

Lagos na noise—car horn, people dey shout. But Tobi own voice clear, tall like iroko.

Tobi tall die—almost 1.9 meters, you no fit miss am for crowd.

Na true. For family photo, Tobi dey always stand last. E go just dey look down on everybody, smile like say nothing dey worry am.

By him left, na my papa, short like 1.68 meters, dey shine teeth like mumu.

I see papa, I just dey laugh for mind. Papa dey always form big man, but height dey betray am. E dey do like say e no see me.

I grab another gala, ready stand up, na so one babe lift skirt, run go meet Tobi.

You know those kind of girls—eye dey shine, voice dey high. She waka like say she dey runway. Na so I just hold my gala, dey observe.

"Tobi, na me you come see?"

The girl talk sharp, eye dey flash. E dey clear say she dey plan something. Me, I just dey wait, dey watch.

Voice sharp, eye dey shine as she look am.

She dey smile like say she win lottery. I just dey look. For this Lagos, na so dem dey do.

"You sabi say I dey go back UK today?"

Ehn. E be like say old gist wan show. UK babe na another level. I no fit shout.

Ehn.

No time for drama. I just dey my lane.

Old gist dey show face?

Sometimes, old matter go waka enter new gist. Na Lagos life be that.

I just squat back.

No need to stand. Make drama finish first. I no get time for unnecessary wahala.

Dey watch ant carry food.

My mind dey, I dey peaceful. Ants no get problem, na food be their own.

E dey sweet me.

I like small thing dey distract me. For this world, small happiness dey important.

I grab another gala.

If you see as I dey chop, you go think say I no get problem. But na lie, na cover I dey cover.

Ants dey hustle like Lagos conductor—everybody wan collect small change.

See as I dey help. These ants no go hungry today.

At least, for today, one problem I solve. E fit be small, but e get meaning.

As I dey look, my phone vibrate for pocket.

Lagos life, call fit land anytime. I look, na Tobi.

Na Tobi: [Baby, you dey here to carry me?]

I smile small. At least, e dey reason me. I dey here, make I go fulfill duty.

I dey here.

Message short, direct. No time for story.

Dey watch ants.

For now, e dey help me rest mind. I just dey.

I finish last gala, stand, waka go meet am.

My leg no dey gree, but I go try. Duty first.

"I dey here."

I use my best voice. Make e know say I dey support am.

He turn, waka come my side.

E smile small, I fit see say e dey happy.

As I wan reach am, na so my leg freeze.

Ah! I squat too long, leg don waka. E be like say breeze blow my muscle.

Wahala, I squat too long—leg don numb.

For Lagos, if you squat for gutter too much, you go collect numbness. Lesson learnt.

We no far, so he quick reach me, carry me up.

Na so e just carry me, like say I be feather. If na Yoruba movie, now dem go add love song for background.

"Baby, I miss you die."

E hold me tight. I fit feel say e dey honest. But my mind still dey somewhere else.

I wan talk, but see that babe from before dey look me from far.

I fit feel her eye dey burn my back. Na so life be for Lagos—you dey, but competition dey everywhere.

My brain just off, I talk, "You don finish with your old babe?"

E shock am. Tobi no dey expect am. I just drop am like bomb.

Tobi frown. "Which one?"

E play innocence. Na so men dey do.

"Nothing."

I bone. Make matter end.

"Baby, I—"

E wan explain, but I no dey in the mood.

I cut am. "Abeg, make we go house."

No time for long talk. I just dey vex, leg dey pain me.

Stop to dey call me 'baby.'

Sometimes the word dey too much. I just wan rest.

My leg dey pain me.

Na true. Leg dey burn me. I dey try hold tears.

I just wan disappear.

For that moment, if ground open, I for enter.

Tobi hold my hand, no talk.

At least, e get sense. No dey talk when person no dey happy.

For car, I just dey press phone, dey Google how to cure numb leg, I no even look his face.

I dey try learn—maybe next time, I go fit dodge wahala.

We no talk till we reach house.

Silent ride. Even driver dey fear press horn.

As my leg clear, I jump go open my package.

I dey always get small online package. As I open, I dey hope say e go distract me.

After two, I see sanitary pad, na so memory come back.

My brain spark. Period! But why e never show? I dey count date with my phone, dey pray make red show. Sweat dey my face.

I grab phone, rush commot.

No time to waste. I go bathroom, close door tight. In this house, privacy na gold.

Tobi ask, "Where you dey go?"

E dey always reason. E think say maybe I dey vex for am.

I form story: "I don dey house since, make I go catch breeze."

Sharp lie. But for Naija, if you no lie small, you go explain tire.

He no stop me.

E just wave hand, no talk. At least e no suspect.

I waka go chemist, buy pregnancy test, do am.

For Lagos, chemist dey everywhere. I just waka inside, buy test, no look anybody face. I rush go toilet, do am. I dey shiver.

Na so e show say I carry belle.

Two line. The thing clear like NEPA bill. I just sit down for toilet, dey look.

Big wahala.

Na here real wahala start. My head dey buzz. I dey reason—who I go tell?

I wan kpai.

If to say I fit vanish, I go disappear like credit wey finish during call.