Chapter 2: Counting Days for Kuje Prison

The blood for my head stop after some time.

Time no dey move for this place, na only suffering dey stretch. Sometimes I dey pray make sleep carry me go, but even dream no dey come.

For this Kuje Prison, no window anywhere, no way to know if sun dey rise or set—na only when warders bring food I dey take count days.

You go hear their footsteps, slippers dey shuffle for corridor, metal tray dey knock door. Na that sound dey announce say life still dey this prison.

Eba with small bitterleaf soup, or pap with cabbage. Soup yellow like old engine oil, eba strong like yesterday garri. Sometimes e go get small meat smell, but meat no dey inside plate.

If e choke you, just know say na hope you dey smell, not meat. E be like play, but na true hunger dey worry person here.

Na only one meal per day—no go kill you sharp sharp, but you no go even feel alive.

After I chop finish, na so my stomach go dey rumble like thunder. I go just lie down, dey press my belle, dey beg God for small miracle.

Most times, hunger dey bite me reach bone, but I no dey let am worry me. I go hug my empty belle, waka reach wall, use the wooden hairpin for my hair scratch one line for wall.

Every scratch dey remind me say I still dey alive. The sound dey comfort me, even as my body dey faint.

Day thirteen.

Lucky thirteen, but nothing lucky for here. My hand don begin pain from the scratching, but my mind no fit rest.

The wall na mud, e soft—just one poke, e go leave hole.

E dey funny as prison wey suppose strong get wall soft like bread. I dey hope say maybe e go help me run one day.

I reason say make I do like Shawshank, dig my way comot from Kuje Prison. But after three days, the hairpin jam stone. No fit dig again.

I just laugh inside myself. All this Yankee film wey dey deceive person, e no get branch for Naija. Stone pass me.

E be like say this prison dey underground—no wonder window no dey anywhere.

If na upstairs, at least breeze for fit enter, but here, na only heat and sweat we get as companion.

I weak small, but later I ginger. Every day as warders dey bring food, I go waka reach cell door dey find gist.

Hope dey say one day, dem go pity me. Na so I dey use my mouth dey run like tap, dey look for who go hear my cry.

"Warder oga, abeg which season we dey so?"

I dey ask like say I wan write exam, but na just to know if day still dey change outside.

The warder answer me with cold voice: "Middle of rainy season."

E just look me like person wey don tire for life. I fit feel the boredom for him tone.

I try force smile: "Oga, fit allow me come out do work?"

I dey add small beg-beg voice, maybe e go touch him heart.

"See, I get hand and leg—no better make I work than just dey chop food for here? I fit sweep, clean, serve tea, cook, wash plate, wash cloth, fan person—anything. At least, make me choir girl, I sabi plenty songs."

If dem gree, I for turn prison to camp meeting. I go dey sing all day. But the warder no send me at all.

Na always two warders dey bring food—one dey carry bucket, one hold lantern. Na only that time I dey see light each day—from corridor start reach end, e no pass two minutes.

That small lantern light dey shine hope inside my mind, but e dey go quick, darkness just swallow am like well water dey swallow stone.

But once dem go, na darkness swallow everywhere again.

The silence after dem leave dey heavy like night for village bush. Sometimes my eye go dey roll for dark, dey wait for miracle.

Fear go catch me, I go hold warder sleeve.

Even grown man go fear this kind darkness, talk less of person wey no know wetin go happen next.

"Oga, verdict never come—how long una go lock me?"

I dey try use small voice, like person wey wan beg for extra meat.

I no even sabi the era, whether na fantasy or real life, I no know their law or politics.

Na so my mind dey turn, dey wonder if I waka enter another world or just naija wey get wahala.

"Oga, abeg help me beg officer—if I fit get pardon for good work? I fit recite multiplication table, sabi English and French well. Any foreigner here? I fit translate."

My mouth dey run. Even if dem say make I dance, I for dance, just make I no die for here.

"I no sabi make glass, but soap I fit try. Na palm oil, caustic soda, saltwater, sulfur, saltpeter—ratio one to two."

I dey yarn anyhow, just to show say my head get sense. Person wey dey find escape go talk plenty.

"Oga, abeg, my people get silver, plenty silver! Free me, I go give you hundred thousand naira, no wahala."

I swear, if dem gree, I for promise dem land join. Na so hunger dey make person yarn dust.

The old warder just hiss, flog my hand.

The pain from that cane na reminder say prison no be home. The way e flog me, I know say my sweet mouth no go help here.

"Mad woman, you wan run scam for your papa? This place na third level of dungeon—all of una na born slaves for former chief’s house. People wey get money don run already."

Him voice dey high, e dey spit truth wey bitter. My eye just dey red, but I no fit do anything.

"Make I tell you true—the former chief dey under house arrest for new ruler hand, all him people don die or disappear. You slaves go lose head after rainy season verdict. As you still dey chop, better save your energy."

This kind news na cold water for body. Even hope run comot. As e talk am, my heart just cold.

I collapse for ground, vex dey my body but nowhere to vent, I grab cell door dey shout.

I bang the iron small, tears gather for my eye. I just dey release my pain, but the echo dey mock me.

"Ahhh! Person dey alive for here so?"

I dey scream like market woman wey dem thief her soup money.

"Where una elders? Make una find solution!"

If na my village, elders go gather do meeting. For here, na only silence reply me.

For this big Kuje Prison, na only echo dey answer me.

The echo long, like say e dey travel go meet ancestors.

Small time, I no fit know if na dream or reality. Sometimes I dey hear cry for far, but when I shout, nobody answer.

The cry be like the sound of night owl. Sometimes e dey sound human, sometimes like animal. My spirit dey shake.

Small animals for corner dey move, dey chop raffia, dey torture my last sense.

I dey watch rat dey romance him padi for corner, cockroach dey waka parade. I just dey count ceiling. Na so madness dey start.

I begin bite my finger, some I bite till blood come out. My mind dey run anyhow.

As pain dey catch me, I dey use am take remember say I still dey alive. E better pass to forget myself.

—Dem say when God wan give person big responsibility, e go first test your mind and body.

I dey reason am, but I dey wait for that my own breakthrough.

—I dey recite Psalm 23 for my mind, dey hope say my cup go run over, even for this dark valley.

—If I die, I fit transmigrate again?

My mind dey play trick for me. Maybe next time, I go land for palace?

—This hairpin don blunt—if e no fit kill me nko? Make I try knack head for wall?

I dey look the wall, dey measure am with my eye. Maybe I fit get luck if I try.

—But for history, new ruler dey grant pardon to show say him get mercy. If dem free us tomorrow, no be say I die for nothing?

I dey remember all the folktales my grandma dey tell. Sometimes e dey happen, sometimes na just sweet talk.

—Ngozi, no be coward. Hold body, just take am as nightmare.

I dey encourage myself, dey do pep talk like coach wey dey ginger team for halftime.

—Abeg God, give me one living person, just person to talk to.

I dey beg for company, even if na witch or winch.

Like say heaven hear me—

My prayer strong that night. For my mind, I dey say, 'God abeg, just give me one padi.'

On the forty-ninth day, as the tenth tally mark for wall remain only one stroke,

Hope dey sweet me. Maybe today different.

new person enter cell.

I dey wait, ear sharp like cat. Na so I hear keys jangle, door open, steps enter. My spirit stand attention.