Chapter 3: Shadows and Stand-Ins

Who would’ve guessed we’d die on the way to getting divorced?

Even now, thinking back, it feels like some kind of cosmic joke. The second before that tanker truck smashed into us, I was still cursing Derek for being a creep—lurking, spying, fantasizing!

Derek’s face was stormy, jaw clenched.

"The one I love is Natalie! From start to finish, it’s always been Natalie! If you didn’t look just like her, do you think I’d be with you? Lillian, what do you have that Natalie doesn’t?"

What I hated most in this life was always being compared to Natalie.

Even after she died, I still had to live in her shadow.

Why?

My hand was already tangled in Derek’s hair.

"Fine, let’s die together!"

The next second, there was a screech of brakes—the tanker lost control and barreled toward us!

My mind went blank.

I saw Derek’s face go pale as he jerked the steering wheel, throwing himself in the way!

I stared at him, dumbfounded—

At this man I’d tangled with for ten years!

We could never get along!

Quarreling, fighting, on and on for ten years!

Why didn’t we break up?

People asked him, and people asked me.

I said nothing.

He smoked with his head down.

Neither of us could say why.

Just like that year, when he listlessly held a wilted bouquet and asked me if I wanted to give it a try.

How weird.

Just days before, he’d rejected my confession, saying he didn’t want to date, just wanted to focus on his grades.

How did he change his mind so fast?

It wasn’t until much later that I learned—he’d actually gone to confess to Natalie first, but she gently turned him down.

Heartbroken and annoyed, he saw me—

Saw the face that looked just like Natalie’s!

And instinctively walked toward me!

Using me as a stand-in!

Recalling Natalie through me!

Ten years!

He really deserved to die!

He should have died!

Who needed him to trade his life for mine?

Just so I could live 0.01 seconds longer!

What rotten luck!

Forget it, once you’re dead, everything’s wiped clean!

From now on, all grudges turn to smoke!

Just hope that in the next life, when I open my eyes—

Damn!

When I opened my eyes, I saw the seventeen-year-old Derek!

How did I know he was seventeen?

Because he was holding a wilted bouquet of blue delphiniums, wearing his usual deadpan expression!

I hate delphiniums!

I like roses—red, passionate, romantic, bold!

Derek looked at me with contempt, saying I had no taste.

He asked if I knew the meaning of delphiniums.

"Don’t you think they look like little swallows fluttering? They symbolize freedom, being unrestrained! Isn’t that beautiful?"

I didn’t think so!

All I knew was that roses mean love!

Lovers always give roses!

But until I was killed by the tanker, I never received a single bouquet!

Reborn to this moment—great, even more unlucky!

And the unluckiest part—Derek looked up!

The moment our eyes met, we both recognized the look in each other’s eyes!

Ha!

I didn’t even need to think to know—he’d come back too!