Chapter 5: Vows and Threats

My marriage to Tunde set.

Mama dance, go bring kola. Papa call elders. For this side, once decision settle, na quick quick wedding.

Ifedike find chance talk to me alone as I dey leave.

He grab my hand for corridor. People dey pass, but he no care. Voice low, but eye sharp.

"For our last life, you pay for Ngozi death. We don balance. For this life, as long as you no harm Ngozi, I no go disturb your family. Tunde no be perfect, but e good reach for you. Forget me, live with am. Stop all this your bad mind and leave Ngozi alone. I no go hold am against you for exposing her pregnancy and shaming her, since you return her contract. But if you no change, no blame me if I show you pepper. You go chop pepper wey no get water."

E dey talk like say e dey do me favour. His voice get one cold chill, like harmattan breeze wey enter window. Na so pride dey worry some men.

He dey talk like say na him dey on top, face hard, eyes cold—just like when he show his true self in my past life.

No be new thing. For last life, e dey act gentle outside, devil for inside. Now, I no dey fear am again.

But that time, he dey wear correct cloth, gold wristwatch, fine pendant, even him cap na designer.

Him perfume dey enter nose, shoes dey shine. Village girls dey trip for am.

Now, na faded sky-blue cloth he wear, nothing valuable for body.

If person push am, dust go rise.

Half of person pride na as dem look.

If you get money, people dey respect you, even if you talk rubbish.

He just be like mad man wey no know say he no get anything again, no fit talk to me anyhow.

He wan form boss, but everybody sabi say him power don go.

I just look am. "You never even start."

I bone face. If he like, make he fight.

He sigh, call me by my name. "Chidinma, why you dey behave like this? The woman wey I love no be uneducated person like you. Ngozi tell me say na she and Kemi build your reputation. I think say you know about me and Ngozi last life, but you still marry me, force am die. Forget am, you be my wife for ten years. E don do you."

E dey try provoke me. But I just dey look am, no shake. For my mind, I dey pray make thunder fire him mouth.

He really blind and mumu.

See man, see wahala. If sense cheap, Ifedike for no get change.

For last life, Ngozi no just pretend as me, she even dey copy my poems. The talking drum wey I dey play, the painting I draw, even ayo game I never finish with my brother—she dey use all as her own.

E pain me as I remember how people dey hail her, say she get talent. Dem no know say na my sweat she dey chop.

Ifedike dey deceive, no know her true self, so e fit believe say she get talent.

For this Nigeria, man eye dey blind where love dey. My own just pass my power.

But after everything clear, he still dey follow her talk. No be mumu be that?

I shake head. Some people no fit learn, no matter how many times life flog them.

"Ifedike," I look am straight, my face cold, "my papa, my mama, my sister-in-law, my nephew—four lives—no be something you fit just say ‘we don balance.’"

I let am feel the weight of my pain. My chest tight, my voice crack.

And my own pikin wey I never born.

Tears prick my eye, but I fight am. For this land, woman pain dey heavy pass mountain.

Ten years, I carry belle four times, lose am four times, last last, I no fit born again.

Each time belle drop, e be like say ground open, swallow my hope. Women for village dey whisper, call me winch.

Doctors talk say womb don weak. Village women dey gossip, call me barren. Ifedike no show pity.

All this, and he dey talk say we don balance?

I spit for ground. Make thunder fire that talk.

I hiss. "Ifedike, you and me—e no go end till one of us die."

My voice steady. I no go run this time. Whatever him plan, make e bring am.

I swear, this time, I no go let snake bite my family twice.