Chapter 4: Flashbacks and Fresh Starts

After a long silence, the system piped up, sounding a little too cheerful:

[Hey, host, guess what? Starting this month, the Story Traversal Bureau is rolling out reforms. You can now choose one of two targets!]

[Sorry, sorry, I totally zoned out in that afternoon meeting. Just checked with a coworker and it’s for real.]

[So, what do you think? Want to swap your target this time?]

[Derek Collins is pretty hot too, but honestly, good-looking guys are always a pain. I’ve got trauma now.]

Not just the system—I’ve got trauma too.

After being killed five times—cancer, gunshots, car accidents—both normal and not-so-normal deaths, I’m honestly a little jumpy now.

Once upon a time, I probably still dreamed that Caleb Foster would fall for me.

Now? I just want to survive.

At this point, I was tempted to order takeout and binge reality TV—at least the contestants on The Bachelor had a fighting chance.

I wasn’t super familiar with Derek Collins, but we’d crossed paths a few times. After all, I’d been trying to win over Caleb since I was sixteen, and Derek was always around—one of his closest friends. In Maple Heights, the Collins name was basically its own brand.

I had no idea what kind of girls Derek liked, so I spent the weekend at home, replaying every moment I’d ever interacted with him. The more I sorted through my memories, the more I realized that in every life, I’d had some kind of encounter with Derek, however small.

The first time we met, we were at the same high school. I was a freshman; he and Caleb were sophomores, in the same class. Back then, I’d just gotten stuck with the system, and Caleb was my mission. I’d show up at their classroom door nearly every day—sometimes with bottled water, sometimes fruit, sometimes the latest comic book.

But Caleb was always distant, his pride as chilly as the school’s air conditioning. After a whole semester of gifts, he barely looked my way.

Finally, his buddy Derek couldn’t take it anymore and patted his shoulder, grinning:

"Caleb, seriously? The freshman’s gorgeous and sweet. If you don’t want her, I’ll take her."

"Hey, freshman, why not give up on him and chase me instead? I’m easy to win over."

He winked at me with the swagger of a varsity letterman, the kind of kid who probably ran for class treasurer as a joke and won.

...

One time, I got cornered by a group of mean girls outside school. The girls’ laughter bounced off the chain-link fence, and someone’s car alarm blared in the distance. Derek just happened to pass by. Without a word, he stepped between us.

"I never hit girls, so don’t make me break my rule."

"Back off—she’s with me. Mess with her, you mess with me."

His voice cut through their jeers, sharp as a referee’s whistle at a Friday night basketball game.

...

The ringleader didn’t recognize him and just sneered, then called over a bunch of her older friends and brothers. Derek rolled up his sleeves, looking ready for a brawl. I stood there shaking, no clue what to do, when he suddenly grabbed my hand:

"Run, Natalie."

That afternoon, Derek and I sprinted through the alleys of east Maple Heights, hearts pounding. Luckily, we made it out in one piece. He was breathless when we finally ducked behind a dumpster, grinning lopsided and a little wild. "Told you I was easy to win over."

Before finals, Caleb was heading off to college, so I worked up the nerve to confess. My hands shook so badly, I almost dropped the note I’d written and rewritten a dozen times. He rejected me instantly. The system declared my strategy a failure. The first week of summer break, I was diagnosed with cancer.

It progressed fast. I didn’t even make it to junior year before I died.

The second life came quickly.

This time, I was their classmate, same grade. Caleb and Derek both had killer grades and went to one of the country’s top three universities. As always, I chased after Caleb with everything I had. New face, same rejection. He was rich, handsome, smart—girls lined up for him, but I was the most persistent.

The whole first year passed, and Caleb stayed icy as ever. I started to lose hope—maybe he was into guys? I almost asked Derek, but heard they’d had a falling out. Weird. Weren’t they close in high school? Do guys have fake bromances too?

That summer, I went back to Maple Heights—my second identity’s hometown, too. One day, I was browsing a bookstore and ran into a familiar face. On impulse, I greeted him:

"Derek Collins."

He looked up, puzzled. I realized he didn’t know me in this life. Though we went to the same college, we’d never spoken before. I stammered:

"Uh, we’re at the same university. I’m Rachel from Communications."

He was a little cold but nodded.

At checkout, a kid bumped into me and knocked my book to the floor. Before I could grab it, a hand beat me to it. Looking up, it was Derek. He didn’t give it back right away, just stared at the comic for a while. I thanked him. He finally snapped out of it and handed it over, looking lost in thought. He seemed wrapped in sadness, like something was wrong at home.

That was my only run-in with Derek that life. Not long after, I confessed to Caleb and failed, earning my second system erasure. While shopping at a mall, I was shot in the head by a criminal. It made the local news. I always wondered if anyone lit a candle for me at the vigil on the courthouse lawn.

In the third and fourth lives, I ran into Derek more and more—probably because his friendship with Caleb had bounced back.

By the fifth attempt, both had graduated, moved back to Maple Heights, and were working in their family businesses.

That night, a bunch of rich kids went camping at Pine Bluff. I went, too. I confessed to Caleb on a cliff. While I waited for his reply, he hit me with that same cold line:

"Natalie, stop chasing. Even if you turned to ashes, I’d still recognize you.

Let me tell you, even if I jumped off here, I still wouldn’t be with you."

It was like getting struck by lightning. Natalie—that was my name in the first life. So Caleb had known I was a strategist all along. For five lives, I’d been a clown in front of him—jumping, dying, jumping, dying. Or maybe, to him, I was more like a monster—something that wouldn’t stop coming back.

After Caleb exposed me, I stumbled down the mountain. I knew I’d be erased soon, just didn’t know what kind of death was waiting this time. Facing the end, I started shaking, panic and despair closing in. Caleb had seen through me. Even if I started over a sixth time, there was no way to win—unless he lost his memory.

Terrified, I called for the system, but got no answer. Just then, a sports car pulled up. The window rolled down. It was Derek Collins. In the fifth life, we were just acquaintances, so he probably stopped out of politeness.

"Leaving so early?" he asked.

I forced myself to sound calm. "Yeah."

"It’s a four-hour walk down. Get in."

Honestly, I didn’t want to. After five lives, I still wasn’t close to Derek. And I knew I was about to die—if the system decided to drop a meteor on me while I was in his car, wouldn’t I drag him down too?

It sounded ridiculous, but after getting shot in the head at a mall, I believed anything could happen. So I politely declined.

Derek frowned, looking serious:

"Just so you know, the cops get a lot of calls about single women getting attacked in this area."

That did it. I got in without hesitation. No way was I dying like that.

The inside of Derek’s car smelled like leather and spearmint. He kept his eyes on the road, knuckles white on the steering wheel.