Chapter 3: Refusal and Resolve

Mama no expect me to say no. She open mouth, wan beg me: "Ijay, abeg try. Mama dey go work..."

I just hug her leg tight, look up with red eye: "Mama, help me ask for leave. Carry me go this your work trip. I go behave."

I lock her leg like say na tree I dey hug for harmattan breeze. I no gree loose, my whole small body dey tremble like chick.

"Ijay," Mama touch my cheek, "why you dey sad? Mama go come back soon, abeg try."

"I no wan." I talk am again. "Everything wey teacher dey teach for school, I sabi am. Carry me go, Mama, abeg..."

If I use small pikin trick, Mama no dey fit resist me. I squeeze my face, do like say I wan cry, but inside I dey shine eye dey look if e dey work.

Her eyes shine, like say my cuteness dey enter her body.

Mama think am well, but last last she gree, call teacher for school, talk say make I no come.

She warn me: "Ijay, when we dey outside, you gats dey hear word. When Mama dey work, no run about, hear?"

I nod well. My body just dey bubble as she talk. "I go hear word, Mama."

So Mama carry me follow body.

Na my first time go another town. Because Mama dey busy always, she dey hire nanny to watch me. This one different—now I dey waka with her, see road, see people, see market for window, even see small masquerade dey dance for junction.

For road, barrage comments just dey roll for my eye.

[Little Ijeoma follow Mama go work trip. If only she fit find her papa, make dem three join again.]

[True talk, dem love each other but no dey talk. If I fit enter, I go ask dem, na pride dey important pass life?]

[The company wey the woman dey go na beside Okoli own, abi? Dem fit jam each other.]

[Sob sob, I hope the man go know say the woman born pikin for am.]

Find papa?

I know say all my friends for school get papa. Mama say my papa far, so I think say im don waka. But e be like say im never waka?

No get papa no too worry me. Some days, I go ask Mama, "Where my papa?" She go just smile weakly, say, "Him dey far." I go drop the matter, but my mind go dey turn am like eba.

But the comments dey talk say Mama dey suffer to raise me, so Papa suppose help too.

I decide to find papa. Inside my small chest, I form plan: if my papa dey, make I find am quick. I no fit watch Mama dey suffer.

Dem no dey talk, but me I fit talk.

"Mama, how my papa face be?" Na the first time I ask Mama this kind question.

Mama face change, smile just disappear, something dey her eye wey I no fit understand. She ask, "Ijay, why you dey ask this one?"

Her voice shake small, she look window like say answer dey hide for outside sun.

"I wan know."

After long silence, Mama talk soft: "Your papa fine well well, but im get small wahala for temper."

That one mean say im temper bad true true.

Even person like Mama wey gentle, no fit bear am.

But even if im get bad temper, e still suppose raise pikin. I fit see say the matter pain her, but I keep my question inside—small pikin no dey over-disturb Mama.