Chapter 2: Public Disgrace

"Amarachi too loose. Who know how many men she don sleep with apart from me?" Na so Tunde yarn, voice loud like him wan make sure everybody hear. My body just freeze, my mind dey fly. I no believe say na me him dey talk like this.

Tunde talk am like that, and my body just freeze. Na real cold catch me, as if harmattan enter parlour. Everybody eye dey on me. I wan disappear, but na so leg stick for ground.

That day—Na day wey I no go ever forget. Sun dey shine, but inside my heart, na darkness full everywhere. My hope dey break one by one.

He know. He know say I still pure. I remember the way e touch me, the fear wey dey my body, but I gree because I trust am. Na me and Tunde first do, so he know say I never try am before. But now, na me he dey call loose woman.

Inside the parlour, my papa face dark like say rain wan fall. Papa no talk, but him eye red. Everybody for house know say when Papa face change like that, trouble dey come. Neighbours dey peep window, dem dey wait to hear shout.

That pink undercloth—my private bodice—don make am lose all him respect. As Papa see that thing for ground, e be like say e dey see dead rat. Him hand shake, him voice low. "You don disgrace me, Amarachi." Even housegirl, Ekaette, no fit look my face.

Even as he dey feel guilty, he still talk, "The engagement don already set..." Tunde just fold him arm, dey look like say he dey pity me small. "Na true, the engagement don set, but we fit find another way." Guilt dey for him voice, but pride no gree him beg.

Tunde just laugh coldly. "I no fit break the engagement. Mr. Okafor fit just upgrade the concubine pikin to main daughter and let her marry me instead." E dey talk like say na business, not life. My chest tight, my head dey turn. I wan shout, but voice no come out.

Papa shock, stand for there like statue. The man wey dey rule our house just freeze. Even junior brother dey look Papa, dey expect thunder. Papa hand dey tremble, but him no fit talk.

Me sef, I just dey look, mouth open. My mouth wide, I no fit close am. Everything dey happen as if I dey inside film. Tears dey my eye, but I no wan let them see.

So na me he no want after all. Reality just settle for my chest. All the years I dey hope for wedding, all the secret talk and laugh—na lie. Tunde no want me. I dey like old wrapper wey dem wan throway.

I remember that crazy night: Tunde hold me soft-soft, dey kiss me everywhere, dey beg me make I open my eyes. Memory just dey flash. Na that night, after food, when moon dey shine, Tunde carry me go shade for backyard. He dey whisper sweet things, hands dey gentle, promise dey my ear. "Amara, look at me," he beg, "I go always protect you." My heart dey beat like drum.

He say, "Amara, I really dey happy..." He dey smile that time, like person wey win lottery. I think say na love dey sweet am.

So, wetin dey make am happy no be me—Na say him plan don work. He fit finally be with the Chiamaka wey he love. I understand now. Na the game wey he dey play, he win am. I just be step for him ladder. The pain deep, my soul dey cry.

Tunde talk again, "Chiamaka get sense, she gentle, she better pass Amarachi for main wife." He say am as if na ordinary talk. My spirit just dey break. Even Chiamaka, her own eyes dey shine. My own sister.

Papa keep quiet for small time, then nod. "Okay, I agree." Silence full parlour. Papa no even defend me. I expect am to shout, but him just nod. "So be it," he talk, voice tired, as if he don fight finish.

My heart just fall down, deep. E be like ground open, I dey sink inside. All the joy I ever get for this house just vanish. I dey alone, my spirit dey shake.

Even though the dry season sun dey warm, my leg cold like ice block. Outside sun dey burn, but my own skin cold. Na that kind cold wey dey come from inside bone. I wan run, but leg no gree move.

Chiamaka eye dodge my own, her hand dey twist scarf, but small smile still hide for her mouth. Blood dey my mouth as I bite am. My hand dey shake, but I gree run. I no look back, just dey hear my heart dey pound. My tears dey pour, nobody fit see.

As I dey run, compound dey spin, but Tunde voice still dey follow me—like curse wey no gree leave.