Chapter 2: Bitter Words and Invisible Wounds

Go away.

I hate you.

Chika shout, throw toy train for my forehead.

The plastic pain reach bone, but the words pain pass. For small second, I just stand, my breath hang for throat. I dey try believe say I hear am well. The thing shock me, but I just stand there, dey look the pikin wey I dey try love. Sometimes, I dey wish say him fit see the way my chest dey heavy because of am. Na so my eye just wet small, but I no wan show weakness for front of Chika.

I feel warm thing dey drip from the side of my eye.

Strange lines of text just dey waka pass for my mind one by one:

*[The supporting character sef dey pity—she don try for the Okafor family for years, but as the main woman just show, she must comot.]*

*[If she go back to Musa family, dem fit marry her give widower wey dey almost 50.]*

As my eye dey see all those words, e be like film for inside my head. My spirit just dey float, like say I no dey inside my body. Who talk say na my own life I dey live? The words dey sharp, dem dey bite my mind, but I just dey mute.

I blink, to confirm say I dey see well.

Wetin all these words mean? Na me be the supporting character?

I shake head like say I wan remove cobweb from my face. The confusion strong. How person go dey inside story wey no be her own? I dey ask God for mind: is this my portion? My chest tight small, but I lock am for inside.

Chika still dey shout.

I hear person dey rush for the corridor, dey climb stairs.

The footsteps loud—dem dey rush as if fire dey somewhere. I know say wahala don land.

“Na so you dey take care of Chika?”

Ifeoma waka pass me, carry Chika for hand.

As she turn see blood for my forehead, she just squeeze her mouth tight.

Her face strong, no smile. She no talk plenty, just dey judge me with eye. The silence long, she glance at the blood for my head before she talk, like say she dey weigh my mistake. The room cold, nobody gree meet my eye. For that moment, I just be stranger for my own house.

“Go clean yourself.”

Her voice cut like blade. I just nod, my head low, shame catch me. As I sidon, I feel the weight of all the years wey I try for this house.

I bow my head, stand up, comot from the children’s room.

My leg dey heavy like block as I waka go bathroom. The echo of Chika voice and Ifeoma own dey bounce for wall, dey follow me. I no even fit cry well, the tears just stick for my throat, no wan come out.

*[Abeg make you leave, the happy scene of the main couple and their pikin dey come finally.]*

*[I dey wait for the day Chika go call the main woman ‘Mama.’]*

The comments be like arrow. I wan cover ear, but e dey inside my own mind. I dey ask, which kind wahala be this?

As I see the last line of comment, my heart just cut like say dem squeeze am.

Who be this main woman dem dey talk about?

After all, na me dey take care of this pikin for years now.

I no fit talk as I dey descend stairs. My hand dey shake as I rub the place wey toy hit me. My spirit just dey low, like say breeze wan carry me go.