Chapter 2: Losing Him for Good

Sunday night, back to school. Homework was due at evening study hall. The air in my room always felt a little heavier on Sundays, like the week was waiting to swallow me whole.

Caleb was the rebellious type. When the class president asked, he’d just shrug, “Didn’t do it.” He made it sound like a badge of honor.

Before, Caleb would listen to me. Sometimes I could get him to care—just a little.

Everyone knew this, so whenever it happened, they’d come complain to me. Like I was the Caleb-whisperer, or something.

It’s the same now, but they can’t even find Caleb. Even the teachers seem a bit at a loss.

Because as soon as class ends, he goes off to find Aubrey. It’s like the rest of us faded out of focus.

“Natalie, Caleb didn’t do his homework again, and no one knows where he is. You...”

“Just turn it in to the teacher,” I smiled and shook my head. “From now on, if he doesn’t do his homework, don’t tell me.” I said it, more for me than for them.

Hearing this, they could only nod. After all, the rumor that Caleb had a girlfriend seemed to be true. Gossip in the hallways moved faster than the announcements over the loudspeaker.

Seeing my attitude, they were even more convinced. It was easier for them to believe than to ask questions.

After class started, I ducked my head and worked on the test. The scratch of pencils filled the room. I tried to focus, but my mind kept wandering.

Before Aubrey showed up, I wanted to go to Chicago with Caleb. We’d talked about road trips, daydreamed about city lights.

Now, I have to work hard to get into the University of Chicago on my own and chase my own dream. No more leaning on anyone else.

Caleb didn’t come back for the whole study hall. The teacher up front frowned and asked where Caleb was. Her voice cut through the classroom noise like chalk on a blackboard.

Everyone in the class looked at me, but I never once looked up. I kept my eyes glued to the page, the numbers blurring together.

During the second period, Caleb finally came back in from outside. His hair was tousled, cheeks red from the cold air.

He sat at his desk, silent, until a classmate told him the homeroom teacher wanted him in the office. He barely nodded.

Only then did he move. As he passed by me, he paused for a moment. I could feel his eyes, but I didn’t meet them.

I didn’t look up, because I was stuck on the last math problem. Every time, I could only do the first part, and my mind would go blank at the second. The frustration made my throat tight.

When I finished, my deskmate quietly leaned over and asked, “What’s going on with you and Caleb?”

“Nothing.”

“Really? But before, when Caleb didn’t do his homework or skipped study hall, you were more anxious than anyone.” She looked at me, her eyebrows raised, like she was searching for cracks in my armor.

She looked unconvinced. I hesitated, then told her, “That was before. From now on, I’m not getting involved.”

“Oh.” She covered her mouth in surprise. “So, Caleb’s girlfriend really is Aubrey. It’s true...”

I looked down and said nothing. My nails dug into my palm.

After the bell rang for the second study period, Caleb wandered back into the classroom. He slouched into his seat, eyes unfocused.

A while later, I got a note: “You go first after school.”

I calmly tucked it away and kept working on my test. My hands felt numb.

The classroom was always crowded and noisy after school. I sat at my desk, packing up. The scent of dry-erase markers and old paper hung in the air.

Suddenly, the class quieted down. My deskmate covered her mouth, eyes wide. I followed her gaze.

Aubrey stood at the door. She tilted her head slightly, beckoned to Caleb, then turned and left. She didn’t even look at anyone else.

I couldn’t help but look at Caleb, only to see him smile at her, that helpless, soft grin that used to be mine. My hands clenched around the edge of the bleacher seat. My heart thudded like I’d just missed the last shot of the game.

Then the classroom exploded in chatter. Whispers and snickers filled the room, bouncing off the walls.

“Wow, it’s actually true.”

“I always thought Caleb and Natalie were a good match: the rebel and the straight-A student. But now, the rebel and the dance girl seem even more perfect.”

“Don’t hype them up. But am I the only one who thinks Natalie’s a little pitiful?”

“They grew up together.”

“Guess the childhood friend really can’t compete with the one who just showed up out of nowhere.”

My deskmate pressed her lips together, wanting to comfort me. I threw on my backpack, the feeling in my chest like someone wrung my heart out like a wet towel, but I still forced a smile and held back the tears. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing me break.

I can’t let anyone see I’m upset, or else tomorrow I’ll be the joke everyone whispers about. High school is brutal that way.

“I’m fine. Caleb and I have always just been friends. I’ll head out, see you tomorrow.”

She still looked worried and waved: “See you tomorrow. Be careful on your way.”

Walking out of the noisy school, I gripped my backpack straps and clenched my teeth. I could feel the cold evening air biting at my face.

But the tears still came. My chest hurt so bad I could barely breathe. I ducked behind the old oak tree out front, pretending to check my phone until I could pull myself together.

How did he start liking someone else, just like that?

My vision blurred, but in my ears echoed the clear, cocky voice of the boy:

“Caleb Carter can do anything. Natalie’s someone I’ll protect forever.”