Chapter 4: Cast-Offs and Curses

If I reason am, who Segun really be for me?

That question dey bite my chest sometimes. Na Segun I carry for mind, my first love. But love wey no get head, na waste of time. I dey wonder whether e ever truly care.

That time for school, I give pink love letter to boy wey I like.

I still remember how my hand dey shake as I write am. I buy fine paper from market, draw small heart for top. Na big risk, but love dey blind person.

Next day, Sade drag me enter girls’ toilet, pour one big bucket of cold water for my body.

Shame no let me talk. All my body just dey cold, cloth stick for my skin. The other girls just dey laugh, dey snap picture, dey gossip.

"You dey crush on Segun? You sure say you reach am?"

Sade voice still dey ring for my head. Her eye sharp, like say she dey find fight. Na so girls for school dey, always dey find person wey dem fit crush.

She slap me so teyy my face burn.

My cheek swell, my pride scatter. Nobody help me, dem just dey look. I dey cry, but tears no fit wash the pain comot.

Na that time Femi burst open door.

As e enter, everywhere quiet. Femi fit command room with just him presence. All the girls freeze.

Him shirt dey loose, him eye scan my wet shirt and bra, e just whistle.

E no send whether I dey shame. E just dey admire the drama, like say na movie.

"Call me ‘egbon’ make I help you show her pepper."

E dey use style claim senior, dey show say e fit rescue me if I just respect am. I no gree, pride dey hold my mouth.

I no gree.

I swallow my pain, dey look am. I no go let am see me weak, even if tears wan fall.

Na so e and Sade join body, turn my life to wahala.

Instead of help, dem combine, dey make my life hell. Both of them dey enjoy my suffering. Every small joy, dem go use hand scatter am.

And Segun—na im be the end of that wahala…

When Segun finally show true colour, na then I sabi say love no dey live for all heart. After that, my mind just harden. I learn say na only myself fit save me for this life.

For Segun and Sade wedding, Femi still drag me go.

E no care whether I wan go or not. Na im say, na so e be. I dress, follow am like person wey no get voice. My heart heavy, but I no show am.

For ceremony, Sade dey shine like flower, just dey hold Segun hand tight.

People full hall, everywhere dey bubble. Sade dey glow, all eyes dey on her. Segun dey smile like say e win lottery. I just dey one corner, dey watch, dey swallow my pain.

The way dem dey look each other, love full everywhere.

Na so people dey talk say marriage na sweet thing, but my own eye dey see pepper. As Sade and Segun dey exchange vows, e be like say I dey inside cold well, my body dey shiver.

As I dey watch the boy wey I like before marry the girl wey dey slap and pull my hair that year—I just dey feel pain for chest.

Old wound dey open again. I try smile, but na fake. Tears wan fall, but I lock am inside. I dey pray make Femi no notice.

Femi notice am, hold my waist tight, vex for face.

E grip me like say e wan break my bone. I fit feel as e dey squeeze, e no send who dey look. Jealousy dey burn for him eye.

"Continue to dey look, I go knack you here now."

E talk am low, but e serious. Na him style—if e no fit get my attention with sweet, e go use threat. For my mind, I dey curse am, but my body dey stiff.

As the only son for big Adeyemi family, people just dey come greet am.

Everywhere, people dey bow, dey hail Femi. Even elders dey shake am, dey toast to him future. E dey flex, dey enjoy the respect wey him family name dey bring.

"Ah-ah, no be Ten Thousand Naira be this?"

That name na curse for my ear. I freeze, blood cold. The man wey talk am, na old friend of Femi papa. Bald, belly big, face shine with sweat.

One bald man wey smell like ogogoro bend near. "Brother Femi, you never tire for this one?"

Him mouth dey smell, e laugh like say na big joke. That nickname just open all my old scars again.

That nickname just freeze my body.

My body stiff, I dey try remember how e start. But the memory dey heavy for me.

That year, Femi step on my shadow, wave my love letter for air.

For that compound, everybody gather. Femi dey do drama, dey draw attention. I dey hide face, but no place to run.

"You be star for sky, dey shine for my dull life…"

E use high-pitch voice, dey mock me, read my letter to Segun word for word.

People dey laugh like say dem win awoof. Some dey point, others dey record with their phone. I wan melt for ground.

Shame just dey burn my face. I tiptoe, wan grab am back, no know say we don near so.

I stretch hand, no sabi say Femi don plan am. E just dodge, then use style block my way.

"So you dey rush man? How much for one night?"

As e talk am, people roar with laughter. My pride die for that moment. I no fit look anybody eye.

Femi talk, my body just freeze, shame no let me talk.

I wan cry, but I swallow am. Na Femi dey run the show, me just dey there like mumu.

Person for crowd shout, "Ten thousand for whole night!"

That shout loud, people fall for ground, dey laugh. My own be say, if I fit disappear, I go vanish.

Na so everybody burst laugh.

Dem dey clap, dey roll for floor. From that day, I know say my name don change for school.

From that day, "Ten Thousand Naira" follow me everywhere…

Anytime person see me for campus, na so dem go call am. Even for market, some people dey point, dey whisper. I no fit wash am comot, no matter how I try.

I swear, no matter how I run, that name dey chase me like juju.