Chapter 3: Science and Superstition

I dey hear him nervous breath, and generator hum far. Invigilator dey look me, then locker, sweat for nose.

"Ahem... Now, these are the exam rules..." Invigilator announce, voice serious pass normal.

He read rules well, voice echo for desk. He even pray, "May God guide our hearts and hands," before he start clock.

I settle down, read questions, try forget locker.

I breathe in deep, try steady hand. Exam paper ordinary, but my mind dey buzz. I circle first question.

Just as I finish first question, door swing open. Professor rush in.

Agbada flap like bat, face dey shine, eye dey fear small. "Oya, check locker!" he shout.

See as him face dey anxious, I check locker quick.

My hand dey shake. I open locker—my belle do backflip.

Sure enough, answer sheet dey wait for inside.

Paper clean, like e just come from heaven printer. I lift am, invigilator and professor lean close, forget to breathe.

Professor grab paper, then carry my test compare.

He raise both for light, eye dey dance line to line. Lip dey move as he check, hand small shake dey enter.

"Every answer correct," professor talk, voice dey shake. For one second, I think say e go faint from joy.

He blow one long whistle. Invigilator look am, then look me, like say we all don enter prophet level.

After that, dem lock down school, say na 'reconstruction planning.'

Security men with brown uniform begin waka for gate. Notice dey for every door. Students dey whisper about cult, kidnap, and secret government.

More people like professor start dey show. I see faces I know from TV—big scientists from Abuja and Lagos.

Dem convoy block main road, SUVs shine. Students line window. Teachers try form important, dey point things to visitors.

After many days and test, scientists finally get rules for answer sheet:

1. Candidate must be me.

2. No more than three invigilators.

3. Test paper format must get scores, total no pass 150.

4. Exam must follow WAEC rules.

5. No answer sheet after exam end.

Dem write rules for blackboard, scientists dey whisper like market for Sallah. Some dey joke say my village people don make me famous.

Once rules clear, scientists begin reason wild.

I hear dem argue: "Ask about quantum mechanics!" "No, solve global warming!" Question full everywhere, school buzz like market.

Me, I dey look test paper, dey reason deep.

Noise fade. For one moment, na only blank sheet before me, the weight of wetin e fit reveal dey my mind.

"Please describe in detail the process of the universe's formation. (10 marks)"

Question dey look me, dey dare me. I tap pen, excitement and fear dey do me.

"Please give 10 examples of planets with alien civilizations closest to Earth. (1 mark each, 10 marks total)"

Scientist wey set am wink at me, like say we dey run secret. I smile small. Who know?

"Please explain the process of human evolution and predict humanity's future development. (10 marks)"

I scratch head. Imagination dey fly, robot and flying car dey my mind. I wonder, "Locker go fit answer all these?"

……

Look these questions, I even dey doubt whether locker fit bring answer.

Invigilator give me look, hope and doubt dey his face. "Try, make we see," he whisper. Scientists dey bite nail for CCTV room.

But after over ten minutes, locker begin pour answer sheets like water from dam.

First sheet come, then another, then more—soon, dem dey fall for floor. Sound be like rain for zinc roof. My heart nearly jump commot.

Me and invigilator rush, dey catch, stack am like rain.

We kneel, crawl, scoop papers, our laugh and panic dey join. My hand dey pain, invigilator face shine with sweat and joy.

This thing last pass twenty minutes.

Scientists dey knock, shout, "Oya, gather the papers!" I wipe face, shirt stick to body. If you see us, you go think say na shrine we dey count money.

After last stack, we just lie for ground among the papers, totally tired.

We flop for cool tile, paper full everywhere. I close eye, listen to my breath and AC hum.

"Exam... exam don finish, abeg... stop writing," invigilator gasp, out of breath.

Him words short, like person wey just run marathon. I laugh, ribs dey pain me.

I respect am.

I salute small. "Oga, you try. Na only you fit handle this kind wahala."

After, scientists rush in, dey pick paper like Christmas meat. Dem dey fight who go read first, flip page, glasses dey fall.

I no send them. I just dey pray say after all this, dem go let me retake my exam. As top ten student, I no need expo.

I fold arm, dey look with one eye. I whisper, "God, let this wahala pass quick, abeg."

After scientists finish, only invigilator and me remain.

Hall empty again, echoes of excitement still dey. Locker quiet, like say nothing happen. Invigilator tap biro for table.