Chapter 4: When Glory Fades, Hearts Speak

A few days ago, Caleb came back.

The county’s youngest prodigy, the pride of the Morrison family… didn’t get a perfect score—ouch.

It was the talk of the town—everyone had an opinion, but no one dared say it to his face.

Not even close.

But for them, it wasn’t terrible—he still scored in the top quarter.

It was good enough for most, but not for the Morrisons. I wondered how he was handling it.

Caleb, who’d had so many send-off parties, hadn’t made a sound for days.

He’d vanished, like a ghost, leaving everyone to whisper and wonder.

The women in their family seemed to vanish overnight.

Then, as if nothing happened, they reappeared, never mentioning Caleb’s results.

The silence spoke louder than words. I watched them, waiting for a crack to show.

Zoe said her mom was blaming her sister for not sending Caleb to the country house before the test.

Their dad, who’d hoped so much, was disappointed and barely spoke to Caleb.

But Caleb himself was the calmest—helping his sister, eating, drinking, hanging out with friends, hiking, living as usual. His dad called him an ungrateful brat in private.

I pictured Caleb rolling his eyes, pretending not to care. Maybe he really didn’t.

“Life really is unpredictable,” I murmured.

The words tasted bittersweet. I wondered if I believed them.

It’s normal to be affected by outside events, but given how smart Caleb is, this was a bigger miss than anyone expected. I know the country is full of hidden talent, but it’s still hard to accept.

Honestly, what could I even say?

“They say good things don’t last, clouds break, glass shatters. Who can stay on top forever?”

I thought of all the stories I’d heard—heroes who fell, dreams that faded. Maybe it was just part of growing up.

“This year’s test had many famous contenders—it was eye-opening.”

The town’s best and brightest, all in one room. No wonder the pressure was so high.

“I think there’s no point in forcing it. Good enough is enough—rank is just icing on the cake.”

So true!

I smiled, feeling a weight lift. Maybe it was okay to just be enough.

Wait…

I turned to look.

Caleb leaned on the railing, feeding birds with my sunflower seeds.

He looked thinner, but more relaxed, less uptight than before.

His hair was longer, his eyes softer. He looked at peace, in a way I’d never seen.

“Thanks for worrying about me.”

His voice was gentle, almost teasing. I blushed, caught off guard.

I didn’t say anything, but his calm eyes curved into a gentle smile—I knew he’d guessed my thoughts:

“Autumn, you’re really living the good life!”

He laughed: “—Is single life the only way to be this free?”

Hah, after months away, he comes back to tease me?

I tossed a seed at his shoe, grinning like an idiot. “You wish!”

But this ‘freedom’ did fit the mood.

I wasn’t getting married; no one was interested in him either.

Everyone in town was chasing after the chubby guy who ranked higher.

He must be upset.

I should comfort him, but subtly—boys are so troublesome.

“It’s just temporary,” I said, pretending to be nonchalant.

“Temporary.”

He smiled too, eyes soft, his light shirt shifting as the dimple on his cheek appeared.

The wind lifted his hair, and for a moment, everything felt possible again.

Assuming he got the hint, I handed him a plate of Red Velvet Rolls—a little comfort for a fellow traveler.

“Want more?”

Maybe he misunderstood, but he seemed cheerful, quite generous.

“…No, thanks.”

He shook his head, but his eyes sparkled. I felt a little foolish, but also relieved.

What a waste of rare generosity! Was I really so shameless? I turned away, a bit annoyed.

I watched the birds instead, pretending not to care. Caleb just smiled, unbothered.

Caleb quietly fed the birds, focused and gentle. After a while, he tossed the rest of the seeds, and the birds scattered, fluttering over the pond.

The scene was peaceful, almost magical. I let myself relax, just for a moment.

I glanced back.

He drummed his fingers on the railing, eyes far away.

The silence between us was comfortable, filled with memories and possibilities.

For a moment, we were silent.

“Autumn…”

He suddenly spoke, startling me.

I jumped, nearly dropping my plate. “Yeah?”

“Mm?”

He hesitated, searching for words. I waited, heart pounding.

“Well, when I was in New Orleans, Zoe sent a few letters home…” He hesitated.

No doubt that brat told him everything about the gossip and my slip-ups.

I covered my face, making a mental note to get back at Zoe. I didn’t know how to respond.

Caleb went on:

“Uh, we guys can take a little gossip, but for girls, in the future…”

He trailed off, looking embarrassed. I wanted to tease him, but held back.

“—Don’t worry about it!”

Was he about to bring up whether I’d ever get married? Please, leave the worrying to the elders.

I rolled my eyes, but my heart softened. He always tried to protect me, even when I didn’t need it.

“…There’ll always be some—hmm?!”

He was stunned for a moment—a rare sight since he finished reading Walden!

His mouth hung open, and I almost laughed. He was so easy to fluster.

“If I don’t get married, so what?!”

I shook my sleeves and turned away.

The words came out sharper than I meant, but I wasn’t about to take them back.

“…If someone suitable comes along, you don’t have to be so drastic.”

He was dazed, then shook his head and smiled.

He gave me that look—like I was a puzzle he’d never quite solved.

“I’m not joking. A quiet life in a convent sounds nice—Vermont and upstate New York have peaceful ones by the river, with little boats and green hills and cottages. Ohio’s is less quiet, but it’s near the river…”

I counted on my fingers, sighing over my plans for the future.

I imagined myself in a little cottage, baking bread and tending a garden. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

“Just doing good deeds for the family, I guess.”

Caleb was silent for a long time, then said:

“You’re not really giving up on the world—why make it so hard for them to accept you?”

He poured himself tea and drank it all.

He seemed lost, finally a bit dejected:

“…I thought you understood.”

His voice was quiet, almost pleading. I felt a pang of guilt.

I tapped the table, pausing.

I drummed my fingers, trying to find the right words.

“Understand?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

My laughter was shaky, but real. I wanted to explain, but didn’t know how.

“No, I don’t!”

Maybe it’s true—those who stay clueless are happier than those who see too clearly.

I wanted to be happy.

“You don’t?”

Caleb looked surprised, then laughed softly:

He shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “You keep surprising me today. Do you see me as just a bookworm, clueless about everything? Or do you think your thoughts aren’t worth sharing?”

“You’re angry. I’ll talk to you when you’ve cooled off.”

I stood up decisively, ready to leave this mess behind.

I grabbed my purse, heart pounding. I needed air, needed space.

“Autumn Carter, if you walk out of here today, we, I…”

He murmured, voice trailing off, staring at his teacup.

His words hung in the air, unfinished. I hesitated at the door.

“What about you?”

I hated being threatened.

He looked up, calm, but his eyes were full of the pity I hated most:

“You know I won’t do anything.”

His voice was soft, but there was steel underneath.

“I don’t care what you do.”

My words tumbled out, the housekeeper behind me too scared to breathe.

The silence was thick, heavy with things unsaid. I felt like I was suffocating.

Caleb didn’t expect that, his face darkening.

He looked away, jaw tight. I wondered if I’d gone too far.

“You can go now,” he told the housekeeper, voice calm but brooking no refusal.

She slipped out, leaving us alone with the tension.

I nodded.

Like a tangled knot, sometimes you just have to cut through the mess.

When it comes to arguing, I’m no match for Caleb. But if I want to do something, avoid harm, I have to take control.

“I never believed in those things, you should know.”

It was just a statement, but I didn’t want him to sense any hesitation.

“I never asked you to believe anything. I know it’s a hassle—just trust me.” He responded quickly.

He leaned forward, eyes searching mine. I looked away, uncertain.

I tilted my head, wanting to laugh but unable to.

I knew Zoe and he probably thought I was being difficult.

Compared to all those lovesick couples, we’d started off so well—right time, right place, right people.

But everything comes down to cause and effect.

I wasn’t a silly girl who believed in love at first sight or dying for love.

That’s just movies.

In the face of real life, what does that matter?

I was genuinely afraid of his mom, the senator’s daughter.

Even though she’d always been kind to me, calling me “Autumn,” I’d never forgotten how, when her niece came to play as a child and wanted to date Caleb, she said, “Caleb can have two—one as girlfriend, one as backup. Autumn, you’re older, you should let your cousin have her way.”

Of course, it wasn’t really about age.

But I didn’t understand then.

But we all learn, don’t we?

When I saw those girlfriends dumped, left with nothing, or bought and sold at will, I might have thought it was just their business.

When I saw favored girls bullied by the main girlfriend, even the most submissive ones called homewreckers, I might have thought they were two-faced.

But when I heard how their families were gossiped about, their daughters shamed, serving both parents and boyfriend and even bullied by his friends…

How could I not understand?

Unless I was the ideal choice for Mrs. Morrison, I’d end up, sooner or later, as the backup.

If I were alone, it wouldn’t matter, but I couldn’t bear to see my family shamed for my sake.

We weren’t rich or powerful—just honest people. To make them risk ridicule for something so uncertain would be ungrateful!

Don’t tell me Caleb’s love would change things.

Our families decide our relationships. Mrs. Morrison cared about propriety—forcing her to accept me, or making Caleb seem ungrateful, would shake their whole family. How could they welcome someone who caused all that?

And how long does young love last? When Caleb could no longer rely on his family, he’d need connections. A girl with no status—how could she be loved forever?

I couldn’t bear to drag him down, or be resented and discarded.

Better to cut it off now.

“What I want, you can’t give; what you want, I can’t help with.”

That was all I could say.

Caleb squinted, then smiled. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

I didn’t.

He smiled, a little sad. “There was a pear tree behind the school—the lower pears were all picked, only one left at the top. You wanted it, almost in tears. I said I’d get it, but I was too weak to climb, kept slipping down. Maybe I got mad—I don’t know—but I insisted on trying, did a bunch of stupid things, scared you into crying, saying you didn’t want it anymore…”

Oh, I remembered now.

He said, ‘Now, I want that pear. It’s my business, not yours. Go home.’ So, seeing him all dressed up, I worried his family would think I was bullying him. I turned to leave, but he chased after me, bruised and battered, and handed me the pear…

I could see it all—sunlight through the leaves, his scraped knees, the stubborn set of his jaw. I’d never forgotten.

“I want to say—whatever you want, I’ll try my best, even if I can’t do it. But I’ll never force you, Autumn.

I don’t know what you’re afraid of, but I’ve made my feelings clear. I have no regrets. I won’t push you, but I hope you’ll think about what you really want—forget all the other stuff.”

He turned on his heel and left.

Leaving me alone, stunned.

I watched him go, heart pounding. For the first time, I wondered what would happen if I stopped running.

I didn’t know if I was wavering, but it felt like an invisible wind had passed, and I’d caught hold of something.