Chapter 3: Allergies and Ugly Truths

I was hanging by a thread, and he was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

At last, he sighed.

The sound was heavy, tired. I wondered if he was as exhausted as I was.

Autumn, you made this dish exactly like Maple Street Deli’s.

His tone was dry, almost amused. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

Did you steal their recipe?

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. For a moment, it almost felt like old times.

…

I pretended not to catch the sarcasm in his voice.

I shrugged, playing it cool. If he wanted to call me out, let him.

Fine, whatever. Just say if you’ll eat it or not.

I crossed my arms, trying to look tough. Inside, I was a mess.

It always seemed like, whenever I got mad, he’d soften up and coax me.

He was patient, even when I didn’t deserve it. I missed that about him.

I got used to it, but I forgot—this isn’t the last life anymore.

Things had changed, and I wasn’t sure I could keep up.

But he still kept his head down and ate the clam chowder, spoonful by spoonful.

He didn’t complain, didn’t make a scene. He just ate, like he always did.

So obedient—just like in our last life, when he did anything I asked.

The memory made my chest ache. I wondered if he hated me for it now.

When he finished, he watched me bend down to clean up for the first time ever.

He studied me, his eyes unreadable. I felt exposed, vulnerable.

Autumn.

He said my name, soft and clear. My heart skipped a beat.

He called my name, steady and clear.

It was the first time in ages. I almost cried.

I’m allergic to shellfish.

His words hit like a slap. I stared at him, guilt flooding my chest.

After two lives. Still nothing.

He showed me his wrist, red and swollen. The realization hit me like a freight train.

I froze, looking up at him.

My mind raced, trying to remember every meal we’d ever shared. How could I have forgotten something so important?

His pale wrist was already covered in red welts.

The sight made me nauseous. I wanted to rewind time, take it all back.

He showed it to me, just like that.

No anger, no accusation. Just resignation.

Are you only happy when you’ve tortured me to death?

His voice was soft, almost tired. The words stung more than any insult.

Cole was severely allergic to shellfish.

I remembered the first time he told me, years ago. I’d laughed it off, thinking it was no big deal. Now I knew better.

From the first red marks on his wrist to coughing and finally struggling to breathe, it was only a matter of minutes.

Panic set in as I watched him struggle. I felt helpless, useless.

How could I have let him touch even a little shellfish?

The guilt was suffocating. I’d failed him, again.

The doctor said if we’d brought Mr. Whitaker in any later, he might not have made it.

The words echoed in my head, a warning I’d never forget.

Sis, you didn’t even know that? How could you not know?

Mia’s voice was sharp, her eyes red with tears. She looked at me like I was a monster.

At the hospital door, Mia looked at me with red eyes, her voice trembling with tears.

She clung to Cole’s hand, her concern obvious. I felt like an outsider, unwelcome and unloved.

She liked Cole—I knew that. It was obvious.

Otherwise, in my last life, I wouldn’t have paid him any attention either.

If she hadn’t wanted him, maybe I would’ve let him go. But I was too stubborn to lose.

But…

I searched for words, but nothing came out.

He knew, and he still ate it…

He’d known all along. He always did what I asked, no matter the cost. Every time.

I tried to defend myself, weakly, but just then, the hospital door opened.

The nurse appeared, her expression gentle. I braced myself for the worst.

The nurse nodded, saying the patient was awake.

Relief flooded me, but it was short-lived.

Through the crack in the door, I saw Cole sitting up in bed, staring at me.

His eyes were empty, hollow. I’d never seen him look so lost.

He must have heard every word I just said.

The realization made my cheeks burn with shame.

His eyes were empty, hollow—there wasn’t even disappointment left, just nothingness.

It was worse than anger. At least anger meant he still cared.

Mia rushed to his bedside.

She hovered over him, fussing like a worried wife. I felt invisible.

Mr. Whitaker! Are you okay?

Her voice was sweet, concerned. He nodded, but didn’t look at her.

I walked over too, but before I could say anything, the man who’d been silent suddenly coughed.

His cough was harsh, painful. I wanted to reach out, but I held back.

Autumn.

He said my name, soft and broken. My heart twisted in my chest.

His voice was so low, his dark eyes fixed on me.

For a moment, I thought he might forgive me. I clung to that hope.

My heart jumped, and I moved toward him on instinct.

I reached for his hand, desperate to make things right.

Can you just stop showing up in front of me?

His words were final, unyielding. The hope inside me died.

…

That was Cole’s request.

He didn’t yell, didn’t cry. He just asked me to disappear, like I’d never existed.

I don’t know why, but my reaction was even stronger than his.

The pain was overwhelming. I wanted to scream, to break something.

I slammed the door to his hospital room and stormed out.

The sound echoed down the hallway, a final goodbye.

Fine. I schemed. I was heartless. I was a terrible person.

I told myself I didn’t care, but I was lying.

But him… couldn’t he still stand by me, no matter who I am?

He’d promised to always be on my side. I never thought he’d break that promise.

Couldn’t he… couldn’t he just always be on my side?

The question haunted me, echoing in the empty halls.

…

He wants Mia now, not me.

It was obvious to everyone. I was yesterday’s news, and she was the new headline.

When I got home, I saw the stuffed animal on the sofa.

It was dusty, forgotten. I picked it up, tracing the stitches with my finger.

He’d won it for me before we got married—a limited edition flying dragon plushie.

He’d spent hours at the arcade, determined to win it for me. I’d laughed at him, but secretly, I loved it.

He just thought it was a normal gift.

He never understood how much it meant to me. It was the first time anyone had gone out of their way for me.

Back then, I didn’t know he’d gone to five different malls, emptied four claw machines to get it for me.

He’d never told me. I found out later, and it broke my heart.

He finally gave it to me at a bar.

We were both tipsy, the world spinning around us. He looked so proud, holding out the dragon like it was a treasure.

That night, I got him drunk, his ears turning red.

He was adorable when he blushed. I teased him, but I was grateful.

He was tipsy when he pulled the dragon from behind his back.

He tried to hide his nerves, but I could see right through him.

Autumn.

He called me, his voice soft and hopeful.

Can you look at me?

He hid behind the dragon, making it wave its paw at me.

It was silly, but it made me smile. For a moment, we were just two kids in love.

Can you let me stay by your side?

His eyes were pleading, vulnerable. I’d never seen him like that before.

Even if…

He hesitated, the words catching in his throat. I waited, holding my breath.

Even if…

He couldn’t finish the sentence, but I knew what he meant.

It was the softest plea, barely audible. He tossed away all his pride, just for me.

Even if I’m just a backup.

The words hung in the air, heavy and heartbreaking.

…

Turns out, remembering things late at night really can make you sick with anger.

I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Regret kept me awake, gnawing at my insides.

When I found myself standing at Cole’s hospital room in the middle of the night, that’s exactly what I was thinking.

The hallways were quiet, the only sound my footsteps echoing on the linoleum. I hesitated outside his door, unsure if I should go in.

It was quiet, the curtain half-drawn.

The room was dim, moonlight filtering through the window. Cole lay in bed, his face pale and drawn.

I stood by his bed, looking down at him—even asleep, he seemed restless.

He tossed and turned, his brow furrowed. I wondered if he was dreaming about me—or if he was trying to forget.

Cole’s face really did have the power to make all the girls in his department swoon.

He was handsome, in a quiet, understated way. The kind of man you don’t notice until you can’t look away.

A strong nose, thick brows—he always carried himself with pride.

His features were sharp, classic. He looked like he belonged in a black-and-white photograph, timeless and elegant.

How did he end up…

I wondered what twist of fate had brought us together, and why it all fell apart.

Tangled up with me for half his life.

We’d spent years together, but it felt like a lifetime. I wondered if he regretted every second.

I leaned in without thinking, and suddenly fell into a pair of eyes cold as a winter lake.

He was awake, watching me. His gaze was icy, unyielding.

He’d woken up without me noticing, leaning against the headboard, watching me.

He looked so calm, so composed. I hated how much it hurt.

His gaze was icy, so cold, I actually stepped back.

I stumbled, caught off guard by the intensity of his stare.

You…

My voice trembled. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.

You finally hate me now?

I forced a smile, trying to make light of the situation. But the pain was real.

I sniffed.

Tears burned in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

I don’t know why, but in that hazy moonlight, I suddenly forced a bitter smile and said it, almost as a joke.

Jokes were easier than honesty. They hurt less.

Surprised?

He raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smirk.

His tone was clipped, precise. He wanted me to feel every syllable.

Shouldn’t I hate you?

His words were a challenge, daring me to disagree.

I could feel the darkness in him growing sharper.

The air between us crackled with tension. I felt like I was drowning.

He sat up straight, so serious it hurt to look at him.

He looked like a man with nothing left to lose.

You’re so selfish, so calculating, always using the dirtiest tricks.

He listed my sins, one by one. I didn’t bother to deny them.

Shouldn’t I hate you, Autumn?

The way he said my name made my chest ache. I wished he’d stop.

But so what?

I forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow.

Cole, is this the first day you realized what kind of person I am?

My voice was sharp, defensive. I didn’t want to admit how much his words hurt.

For some reason, tonight it was so easy for him to get under my skin.

He knew all my buttons, and he pressed them without mercy.

In the suffocating dark, for the first time, I lost my composure in front of him.

My hands shook as I reached for him, desperate for something to hold onto.

I grabbed his collar—I could tell he was angry too, the veins on his neck standing out.

He glared at me, his jaw clenched. I wondered if he hated me as much as I hated myself. Maybe more.

What? You don’t want me anymore?

My voice was shrill, panicked. I was losing control, and I knew it.

Or do you think someone like Mia is better? Is that why you’re so cozy with her?

Jealousy reared its ugly head. I hated how petty I sounded.

Let me tell you—

I leaned in, daring him to argue.

Even if we get divorced, I’ll make sure you never have a happy ending.

If I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it. That’s just who I am.

For someone like me, who’s lived in the mud and never seen the light, there’s no way I’ll let anyone else reach their so-called happy ending.

I’d spent my whole life fighting for scraps. I wasn’t about to let someone else win.

I bared my teeth at him, but then met his clear, sober gaze.

He didn’t flinch, didn’t back down. I hated him for it.

He leaned back, raised one corner of his mouth, and looked at me calmly.

His confidence was infuriating. I wanted to wipe the smirk off his face.

Autumn.

He said my name like it was a warning.

When did you get so anxious, so easy to rattle?

His words stung. I used to be unflappable. Now I was a mess.

You lost.

He said it so simply, like it was a fact. I felt defeated.

I let go of his collar, suddenly at a loss.

My hands fell to my sides. I had nothing left to fight with.

Seriously, what the hell was I doing?

The question echoed in my head. I didn’t recognize myself anymore.

I was exposing every weakness. If I really wanted to survive this, the smart move was to win him back.

I used to be so good at that.

But looking at the man in front of me, so calm and composed, I couldn’t say a word.

He was a stranger now, and I didn’t know how to reach him.

After a long moment, the words “please, I’m begging you” got stuck in my throat and I swallowed them down.

Pride won out, as always. I refused to beg.

Instead, I said:

I forced a smile, masking my pain with bravado.

Fine. Just wait, Cole Whitaker.

I’ll be fine without you. I have to be.

And one more thing.

I paused, gathering the last shreds of my dignity.

I won’t lose. I can’t lose. I’ll never lose.

The words were empty, but I clung to them like a lifeline.

…

I walked out of the hospital room in my heels.

The click of my shoes echoed down the hallway, a steady rhythm in the silence.

Burning my bridges with Cole meant giving up that lifeline.

I knew it was reckless, but I couldn’t stop myself.

It was a terrible idea, any way you looked at it.

I’d never been good at making smart choices. But at least they were mine.

But I…

I paused, staring at the exit sign. I wasn’t sure where to go next.

I didn’t want to bow my head to him anymore.

I’d spent too long begging for scraps. It was time to stand on my own.

He was the one who gave up everything to go to hell with me in our last life. He was the one who held on to me for so long, no matter how much I hurt him.

I owed him more than I could ever repay. But I wasn’t sure I had anything left to give.

I’d finally decided to treat him right, to make him my family…

It was supposed to be our second chance. But fate had other plans.

So why now?

The question haunted me, unanswered.

I stared at my reflection in the elevator mirror.

My eyes were red, my makeup smudged. I barely recognized the woman staring back at me.

Good thing I walked out fast—he didn’t see how red my eyes were.

Pride was all I had left. Always has been.

Why are you only telling me now…

I whispered it to my reflection, but the answer never came.

You’re awake.

It’s like being thrown back into the mud all over again.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t escape my past.