Hollywood’s Sleepiest Star: I’m Actually a Koala
Chapter 4: Bunny Boycott and Breaking News
I stayed put.
He said, “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”
I sat in the restaurant, staring mournfully at the rabbit on my plate, unable to eat.
“Why do we have to eat bunnies? They’re so cute.”
Carter: “?”
I put down my fork.
“I’d rather starve, or jump out the window, than eat a single bite of rabbit!”
Carter: “…Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with you.”
He ate his own food.
I ate scallions, cilantro, and every leafy green I could find.
Tasted like chewing cardboard.
I poked at my plate, feeling lost.
Carter grabbed the serving spoon and set a piece of meat on my plate.
In my head: [Kick the food and plate ten feet away.]
In reality: [Picked up the plate.]
“So good.”
By the end, I burped several times. Carter laughed so hard he nearly choked.
The day after I was discharged, I found myself in the news.
“Star Actress in Coma After Eating Eucalyptus—Is Eucalyptus Safe?”
Two days later, I was still trending.
#MalloryPoisonedByEucalyptus #HowToEatEucalyptus
