Chapter 3: Gala Games and Old Flames

Logan suddenly quiets down. I look up into his eyes and repeat, “Logan, I don’t want to die.”

I’ve already died once. When I was in danger, I bound myself to the system, relying on completed missions to stay alive. I don’t want to die a second time. When life and death are on the line, nothing else matters. “I know you hate me. I don’t blame you.”

“When the mission ends, the target can choose to erase the memories. Whether you love me or hate me, I won’t waste any more of your feelings.”

“I wish you well.”

Logan stays silent. Just when I think he won’t speak again, he fixes his gaze on me: “So I’ll never see you again, right? You’ll never finish the mission in this life.”

Because of Logan’s words, I spiral into anxiety. I’m terrified he’ll tell Carter about the strategy. If Carter finds out, the mission will fail for sure. If Logan goes further and tells everyone, then, just like he said, I’ll never finish the mission. I don’t dare gamble on what Logan will do. I have the system monitor his movements, while I go all out to win Carter. When Carter’s affection reaches 70, I can’t wait any longer and confess to him.

Carter is surprised: “You like me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” he asks.

“How do you explain these things?” I say. “I don’t even know when it started. It’s not something I can control. I wish there was an alarm in my head to warn me when I’m about to fall for someone.”

Carter lowers his eyes and smiles. I think he’s laughing at my nonsense. He clearly has doubts, but he still agrees. So I become his girlfriend. The upside is, I can stick to him anytime, anywhere, blocking any chance for him to run into Logan. I’m also worried Logan will try to talk to him privately, so I sometimes fish for info. Carter is annoyed: “You’re already my girlfriend. Why do you care about him?”

I use my excuse: “You know, our breakup was messy. I’m afraid he’ll badmouth me to you.”

“Like what?”

“Like I don’t really like you...” I look into Carter’s eyes and add, “That I have other reasons for being with you.”

Carter looks at me seriously. “What makes you think I wouldn’t trust my girlfriend?”

I’m stunned. He says, “I only trust you.”

Carter’s personality makes every word sound like a promise. On one hand, I feel relieved; on the other, guilty. I can’t help but ask: “If... if one day you find out I don’t really like you, what would you do?”

“I’d try to make you like me.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” I say. “No matter what you do, you can’t make me like you. You can’t find me, you don’t know where I am.”

His eyes are still gentle. “No, I’ll do everything I can to find you.”

His words might sound hopeless, but they’re moving. I hug Carter and kiss him softly on the corner of his mouth. Carter has a possessive streak when it comes to kissing—he always takes the lead. He lifts me onto his lap, fingers tangled in my hair, holding me so I can’t break free, then deepens the kiss. I vaguely remember being kissed like this before. It was that target who liked cheesy lines. I also recall that Carter’s habits, like writing in a journal before bed, are exactly the same as his. Suddenly, I break out in a cold sweat.

Carter suddenly bites me: “What are you thinking about?”

Looking at his young, handsome face, I quickly shove the wild thought aside. Impossible. When a world ends, it ends—how could things overlap? For Carter to stand out among the younger crowd, he must be exceptional. Successful people are all alike, I tell myself. I brush it off and kiss him again.

Word of my relationship with Carter spreads fast. I’m sure Logan hears about it, but he doesn’t react at all. The quieter he is, the more uneasy I feel. I’m anxious all day, but instead of Logan, I get a visit from Peyton Foster.

Peyton sits in a café, sunlight falling on her bare face, looking a little tired. She says, “Logan’s been drinking a lot lately. Last night he got drunk, hugged me, and called your name.”

I lower my head. “I’m sorry.”

“When are you leaving?” she asks.

I promise, “I swear I’ll never show up in front of Logan again.”

“You don’t get it,” she says. “I mean, when are you leaving this world?”

I stare at her, stunned. She says, “Aren’t you strategy players supposed to leave when the mission’s done? How much longer before you go?”

I murmur, “How do you know...”

My impression of Peyton was still that smiling girl sitting on Logan’s lap. The system’s intro for her was only one line: This person deeply loves Logan. I don’t know what kind of love that is—maybe it means never leaving, no matter what. Now, this background character comes alive in front of me. She tosses a pile of photos at me. “Take a look.”

I flip through them. They look like printed phone photos, showing someone’s journal entries.

March 14, another new world.

March 20, saw Maddie, but she already picked Logan as her target.

March 25, today she thanked me for helping her see Logan. Feels weird, like I’m being cheated on.

April 10, Logan kissed another woman in front of Maddie. I’m afraid she’ll fail her mission. I heard failing gets punished. I don’t want her hurt.

April 25, I think Logan likes her now.

April 30, congrats to my girlfriend for getting together with Logan!

May 3, honestly, I’m jealous. Even though I know it’s for the mission, seeing her date someone else still makes me jealous.

June 8, how many points does Logan need? Want to take her away from this world. I’m going crazy with jealousy.

June 14, want Logan to love her, but also don’t want him to love her more than I do.

The photos end there. I look up at Peyton, still in shock.

“My brother,” Peyton pauses, “I don’t even know if he’s still my brother... He wrote it.”

“I already showed the journal to Logan.”

“I can’t accept that he likes you this much, and I don’t think he can either, so I told him.” She gives a bitter smile. “Though he still seems to like you.”

I passively and numbly accept the truth. Logan knows because of Peyton, Peyton knows because of Carter, but Carter... how could he?

“Your brother, he...”

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to ask.” Peyton is clearly uncomfortable. “You two figure out your own mess. I just want to know when you’ll leave.”

“Sorry.” I add, “It should be soon.”

“My brother doesn’t know I peeked at his journal. Don’t tell him I said anything.”

Holding the photos Peyton gave me, I go to Carter’s other place in the city. Peyton told me the journal is hidden in the nightstand drawer. I search and, sure enough, find it. Flipping through, I find entries not in the photos.

March 21, just accept it. She didn’t pick me for the fourth time—she just doesn’t like me.

March 24, didn’t cherish her before. Now watching her call someone else “babe” is really rough.

March 26, damn system won’t let me make the first move.

May 20, she smiled at me, as Logan’s girlfriend, but still smiled beautifully.

July 1, a little nervous—she seems to have picked me.

I’m floored. It’s clearly Carter, but from the details, I catch glimpses of someone else. Samuel Whitaker. My very first mission target.

The first time I entered a mission world, the target was assigned by the system. Back then, my target was Samuel Whitaker, a gentle, well-mannered heir. Samuel was raised to be the family’s golden boy. Calm, disciplined, never broke a rule, handled anything with ease, like nothing could shake him. By all rights, someone like him should have been aloof and arrogant, but Samuel was always kind to everyone. People like that are easy to approach but hard to get close to. I still remember feeling completely lost chasing him. I confessed over and over, tried every trick, but Samuel never budged. My first target was so tough, I thought about just giving up and letting the system erase me. But I figured a bad life was better than a good death, so I kept going.

Samuel’s affection first changed one night when I got drunk. At the time, I was the foster girl living in his house. The house had a strict curfew, and I was late coming home, so Samuel came to pick me up like a guardian. I got drunk and clung to his arm, mumbling, “Samuel, why don’t you like me?”

“Sit up straight,” he reminded me gently. I sulked. Outside, it was nothing but darkness. I leaned on the window, head spinning, feeling more and more hopeless. If there was no progress, the system would erase me. “Why’d you drink so much?” Samuel asked. I mumbled, “Do you know which wine gets you drunk the fastest?”

“Which one?”

“Forever with you.”

He went silent. I stayed quiet too, feeling more and more discouraged, when suddenly the system announced: “Male lead affection increased by 1.” I was so shocked I sat up! Samuel looked at me in surprise, and I looked at him, just as surprised. Who would’ve thought someone like him would fall for that kind of line? After that, I seemed to find the trick to winning Samuel over, and his affection soared. When his affection hit 100, I succeeded and left the world. I thought I’d never meet Samuel again. But loving cheesy lines, writing a journal before bed, and that possessive way of kissing... It all points to Carter being Samuel. Because it’s him, winning Carter was so easy. But how could it be him... If he followed me here because he loved me, watching me chase others, world after world, always losing, unable to confess, unable to make the first move—isn’t that too cruel?

I pace around Carter’s empty apartment, journal pressed to my chest. “But we’re the True Love System,” the system says. This voice is different from before. I pause. “...Who are you?”

“I’m 757’s senior. His level’s too low, he made a bunch of mistakes with the affection score, almost ruined everything, so HQ sent me to replace him.”

The higher-level system says, “Our system collects true love value in each world. The more Samuel refuses to give up, the more he loves you.”