Chapter 4: The Last Choice in Candlelight

After a while, I went back to the maids’ quarters to set out Harrison’s suit for his visit to Mrs. Whitaker.

The fabric was smooth beneath my fingers, the scent of his cologne lingering. Smoothing every wrinkle, I tried to keep my hands steady.

Her rooms always smelled like vanilla candles.

It was her signature, a scent that clung to everything she touched. I lit one before I left, just the way she liked.

After word got out that Jamie—the second son—was being sent to Georgia, Mrs. Whitaker devoted herself to prayer, lighting even more candles.

The parlor glowed with their soft light, the air thick with hope and desperation. She knelt by the window, hands clasped, lips moving in silent prayer.

Harrison sat calmly by her side, chatting about family matters. His manner perfectly humble and respectful.

He played the dutiful son, every word measured, every gesture just right. I watched from the doorway, invisible as always.

When talk turned to his marriage, Mrs. Whitaker glanced at me, her eyes flickering. “Clara’s served you for so many years. Now that you’re getting married, you need to arrange things for her properly.”

Her voice was gentle, but her meaning was clear. I felt my stomach clench, waiting for the verdict.

“If you’re not going to keep her, find her a place before the Langley girl moves in—either marry her off to a staff member, or send her to one of the other properties. Just don’t let her become a problem between you and your wife.”

The words stung, but I understood. There was no room for me in Harrison’s new life.

Harrison replied lightly, “No rush. Let the Langley girl decide.”

He smiled, but his eyes were cold. I knew he’d never let anyone else decide my fate.

Mrs. Whitaker shot back, “That won’t do. What if she’s proud and difficult? That would only hurt Clara.”

She cared more about appearances than about me, but I appreciated the gesture all the same.

Just a few words, but the tension was obvious.

The air felt thick, heavy with things unsaid. I kept my head down, wishing I could disappear.

I lowered my head, hands clenched in my skirt.

My knuckles turned white, but I didn’t let go. It was the only way to keep from shaking.

Suddenly, Mrs. Whitaker smiled. “Clara’s a good girl—hardworking and kind. Now that Jamie’s headed to Georgia with no one to care for him, let her go with him.”

Her smile was sweet, but her eyes were sharp. I knew she’d made up her mind.

At those words, Jamie’s face changed in an instant.

He stiffened, jaw tight, eyes flashing with something like anger—or maybe fear. I wondered if he’d heard the rumors about the swamps.

He gave a soft, cold laugh. “There are plenty of maids here—why pick her?”

His voice was calm, but I could hear the edge beneath it. He didn’t want me, not really.

“She volunteered.”

Mrs. Whitaker’s tone left no room for argument. I felt the room go still, everyone waiting to see what would happen next.

The room went silent.

It was the kind of silence that made your ears ring, heavy and absolute. I barely dared to breathe.

After a long pause, Harrison’s voice broke through, incredulous. “What?”

His shock was real, sharp enough to cut through the quiet. I felt his eyes on me, searching for answers.

Mrs. Whitaker sounded almost proud. “It’s touching how much this girl cares for Jamie. Even though she’s always served you, her heart is with him. Rare, truly rare.”

Her words were smooth, practiced. I wondered how much she really believed them.

With my head bowed, I could feel the tension rising.

The room felt smaller, the air thick with suspicion and hurt. I wished I could melt into the floor.

Through the flickering candlelight, Harrison let out a quiet laugh. “Clara’s always been by my side—how did I not know she cared for someone else?”

His laugh was bitter, almost mocking. I kept my eyes on the floor, refusing to meet his gaze.

He looked up at me.

I could feel the weight of his stare, heavy and accusing. My hands shook, but I kept them hidden in my skirt.

Mrs. Whitaker smiled. “That’s what’s special about her. She fell for Jamie at first sight, but never forgot her duty to you. Now that you’re about to marry, you’ll have plenty of people to serve you. Why not let her follow her heart?”

Her words were soft, but they felt like a sentence. I knew there was no way out now.

Another pause.

The silence pressed in, thick and suffocating. I counted my breaths, waiting for the storm to break.

Suddenly, a hand clamped around my wrist.

Harrison’s grip was tight, desperate. I could feel his anger, his fear, his need to control slipping through his fingers.

Harrison stared at me. “Say it yourself.”

His voice was low, trembling with something I couldn’t name. I forced myself to stand tall, to meet his challenge.

I pulled my wrist free and stepped back. “I’ve admired the second son for a long time. Please allow it.”

My words were steady, but my heart was breaking. I kept my eyes fixed on the floor, refusing to let him see my tears.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hand tremble in the air.

It hung there for a moment, lost and empty, before he let it fall. I wondered if he’d ever forgive me—or if I even wanted him to.

Mrs. Whitaker spoke with a smile. “I asked all the maids at the time—she was the only one to step forward. If you don’t believe me, ask around. Don’t think I forced her.”

Her voice was calm, almost triumphant. I felt the eyes of the whole room on me, waiting to see what I’d do next.

I held my breath.

The world seemed to stop, just for a moment. I waited for someone to speak, for the next chapter to begin.