I Chose My Shadow, Lost My Heart / Chapter 6: Daughters, Fathers, and Revolt
I Chose My Shadow, Lost My Heart

I Chose My Shadow, Lost My Heart

Author: Grace Davis


Chapter 6: Daughters, Fathers, and Revolt

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Eli guessed it was about last night, wanted to come with me. I refused, so he escorted me to the gate.

He looked worried, but I insisted. Some battles had to be fought alone.

Inside, my maid led me to my father, who stood in the hall, back to the door, exuding a heavy presence.

The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating. I took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Nervous, I stepped forward, bowed. "Dad—" But before I could finish, he turned and slapped me hard.

The blow was sharp, shocking. My cheek burned, my ears rang.

My ear rang, pain burning across my face. I dropped to my knees.

I bit my tongue, refusing to cry. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

Dad’s eyes bulged, face livid, hand trembling under his sleeve.

He looked like he wanted to say more, but the words caught in his throat.

"Does your hand hurt, Dad?" I asked.

I couldn’t help myself. The sarcasm slipped out before I could stop it.

He spat in my face. "Ungrateful child!"

His anger was a living thing, filling the room.

I straightened up, voice firm. "I haven’t betrayed the Governor. I just saved the one I love—"

The words felt dangerous, but I didn’t care. I was done lying.

Another slap.

I saw stars, but I didn’t flinch.

He jabbed a finger at my nose, shaking. "The Governor grew up with you! How could you shame him like this?"

His words stung, but I refused to back down.

I turned my head, blood in my mouth, jaw clenched, a rebellious streak rising.

I tasted iron, but I held my ground.

"It was just a ploy!" I glared, head high. "Politicians are heartless. In Cross’s eyes, love means nothing compared to power."

I spat the words out, daring him to contradict me.

Dad raised his hand again, but I stood my ground.

He hesitated, hand trembling, then let it drop.

He looked old, suddenly. Older than I’d ever seen him.

Dad understood better than I did.

He’d seen it all before. Maybe he knew there was no stopping me now.

He never aged. His eyes never tolerated weakness.

He was hard as stone, but I saw the pain behind his eyes.

Leaving the house, Eli rushed out of the shadows, stopping a few steps away. Seeing my swollen face, he frowned, pain flickering in his eyes.

He wanted to comfort me, but he held back. I appreciated it, even if I couldn’t say so.

Outside, as soon as I stepped out of the car, he pulled me into his arms. His chest was warm, his scent calming. I buried my head, finally at peace for a moment.

I let myself lean on him, just this once.

"Eli, we’ve come this far—don’t ever let me down." I said, looking up at him.

I needed to hear him say it, needed to believe it.

He stroked my swollen cheek, brows furrowed, eyes full of guilt and something more.

His touch was gentle, careful. I felt safe with him, even when the world was falling apart.

He looked at me with such tenderness, I stubbornly demanded his promise. "Eli, you can’t let me down."

I needed the reassurance, needed to know I wasn’t alone.

His eyes were bright, lashes trembling, his answer firm: "Never."

He said it with such conviction, I almost believed him.

But I couldn’t see his true heart.

There were secrets between us, things we’d never say out loud.

The inevitable came.

I knew it was only a matter of time before everything fell apart.

The Governor sent an invitation to the house, asking me to visit the Cross estate.

The summons was formal, impossible to ignore. I dressed carefully, knowing what was at stake.

Eli didn’t want me to go—he worried for me, but I worried for him. Refusing was useless; the house couldn’t defy the Governor. So I dressed up and went as the Mayor’s daughter.

I tried to look the part, even if I felt like a fraud.

Dad’s parting look was full of sorrow—as if I’d never return.

He didn’t say goodbye, but I saw it in his eyes.

Eli watched over me until I disappeared into the Cross estate.

I felt his gaze on my back, a silent promise to wait for me.

Incense curled in the air as I waited in an antique room.

The scent was heavy, cloying. I tried not to choke on it.

The door creaked open. Cross entered, dressed in black and red, hair loose over his shoulders, a far cry from his usual sharp suit.

He looked different, more dangerous somehow. I braced myself.

The maids withdrew. Cross walked straight to me, face unreadable.

He didn’t bother with pleasantries. I stood, waiting for the blow.

I stood, bowed respectfully, but before I could finish, he grabbed my throat, slamming me into the chair. My hair ornaments clattered.

The violence was sudden, shocking. I gasped for air, clawing at his hand.

I couldn’t breathe, struggling as he loomed over me, eyes blazing.

His face was twisted with rage, veins bulging in his neck. I’d never seen him like this before.

"Autumn, you did well—causing me trouble at a time like this."

His words were cold, calculated. I wondered if he meant to kill me.

He looked ready to kill me, veins bulging on his forehead, but seeing my flushed face, he flung me to the ground.

I landed hard, pain shooting through my side. I refused to cry out.

Gasping for air, I coughed on the floor. Cross stood over me, coldly watching.

He waited for me to recover, arms folded, face unreadable.

After a moment, he crouched down, voice icy. "You’re no longer chief of the hidden agents."

I’d expected it, but the words still hurt. I lowered my gaze, refusing to let him see my tears.

I forced myself to stay calm, to hold onto what little dignity I had left.

But he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him, eyes sharp. "Autumn, why?"

His eyes were wild, desperate. I saw the boy he used to be, lost and angry.

His gaze was full of threat, demanding an answer he already knew.

He wanted me to beg, to apologize. I refused.

I laughed mockingly.

The sound was bitter, hollow. I saw the hurt flicker in his eyes.

He relaxed his grip, fingers trailing over my face, staring into space, calm before the storm. "Autumn, you’ve changed. You never used to defy me."

He sounded almost sad, like he missed the person I used to be.

My scalp tingled. I slapped his hand away.

I wouldn’t let him touch me—not now, not ever again.

His eyes darkened, a storm breaking loose. He grabbed my neck, forcing me to look up. "Look at what you’re doing! We grew up together, told each other everything—now you’re a stranger!"

His words stung, but I held my ground. We were never as close as he thought.

No, we were never close. We were bound by shared interests—did he expect real feelings?

I wanted to say it, but the words caught in my throat.

Seeing my silence, he pressed lower. "How can you not trust me? I told you he’s trouble—if you can’t do it, I will!"

His threats meant nothing to me now. I was done being afraid.

My alarm bells rang. I grabbed his wrist, furious. "Touch him and see what happens!"

My voice was sharp, dangerous. I meant every word.

He froze, hurt, then grew even colder. "Your ace is a few thousand hidden agents—you think I didn’t know?"

He sneered, daring me to deny it.

My mind went blank. He pulled me closer, sneering, "Why are they so loyal? If not for the power behind you, would they obey?"

His words cut deep, but I refused to show it.

I looked away, stunned, then realized: "It was you—"

The truth hit me like a freight train. He’d been pulling the strings all along.

"You were pulling the strings!"

He smiled wickedly. "So remember, Autumn—without me, you have nothing."

He wanted to break me, to make me beg. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

I bowed my head, closing my eyes.

I needed a moment to collect myself, to plan my next move.

We both needed to cool off.

The room was thick with tension, neither of us willing to back down.

Cross seemed satisfied, rising with a triumphant shout. "Stay here in my estate—you’re not going anywhere without my orders!"

He stormed out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

As expected.

I’d known it would come to this. I just hoped I was ready.

Cross put me under house arrest. I ate whatever food the maids brought, behaving myself.

I played the part of the obedient prisoner, waiting for my chance.

Until the third evening, I smashed the dishes to the floor.

The crash was loud, satisfying. I watched the maid’s face pale with fear.

The maid knelt, trembling.

She begged for mercy, but I ignored her.

I rested my head on my hand, eyes closed. "Don’t be afraid. Tell the Governor I need to see him. If he refuses, say it concerns his life."

I kept my voice calm, almost bored. I wanted her to know I wasn’t afraid.

The maid shivered, begging forgiveness.

She was terrified, but I didn’t care. Fear was a weapon, and I knew how to use it.

Annoying.

I rolled my eyes, wishing she’d just get on with it.

As I threatened her, a cough came from the doorway. I opened my eyes and dismissed the maid.

Cross stood in the doorway, arms folded, watching me with a mix of amusement and annoyance.

Cross stepped in, one hand behind his back, red and black jacket falling straight, eyes fixed on me.

He looked every inch the villain, but I refused to be intimidated.

"Don’t think of escaping," he said coldly. "You can’t."

His words were a challenge. I accepted it.

I tilted my head. "I’m not trying to."

I kept my voice light, pretending not to care.

Without Eli’s skills, I couldn’t escape this guarded estate. It would only make things worse for Eli.

I was trapped, and I knew it. But I wasn’t done fighting yet.

Maybe my reaction seemed odd. Cross’s gaze swept over me, searching for clues.

He was always looking for weakness, for a crack in my armor.

"Cross, let’s make a deal," I said calmly. "With the information I have."

I played my trump card, hoping it was enough.

If all I had was a network, I wouldn’t be Autumn Langley. Never put all your eggs in one basket—Dad taught me that.

I remembered his lessons, clinging to them like a lifeline.

Cross looked wary. I gestured for him to lean in.

He hesitated, then did. I whispered in his ear. His face changed as I spoke, and when I finished, he grabbed my throat, eyes wide. "Autumn, are you threatening me?"

His grip was tight, but I didn’t flinch. I met his gaze, daring him to call my bluff.

I raised an eyebrow, forcing a smile. "Governor, you have no choice."

I let the words hang in the air, confident he’d see reason.

He threw me onto the table, glaring. "You’re ruthless—using the Mayor’s fate to save one man."

His words were meant to hurt, but I didn’t care. I’d do it again, if I had to.

I just smiled.

I’d won, and we both knew it.

Dad knew too—my people had told him after I left the house, warning him not to touch Eli.

I’d made sure he was protected, even if it cost me everything else.

Coming to the Cross estate was a chance to show my hand, to use my leverage to save Eli.

I was gambling with everything I had, but I had no choice.

I must have been crazy.

Maybe I was. But I didn’t care.

That night, I argued with Cross by candlelight. His expressions were a whole show.

He sounded almost impressed, but I saw the anger simmering beneath the surface.

Not from the start, but early enough.

I’d put the pieces together, bit by bit. It was the only way to survive.

I trimmed the candlewick. "Now, force the rival’s hand. You know what to do."

I gave him the plan, daring him to follow through.

"Afterward, the Governor’s seat is yours. He is mine." I looked him in the eye, making the deal clear.

I’d never been so bold, but I had nothing left to lose.

Cross’s eyes stormed, shifting through emotions before he tamped down his anger. "Autumn, aren’t you afraid he’ll hate you when he learns the truth?"

His words stung, but I refused to let them show.

I shook my head. "You arranged all this, not me. Isn’t that right?"

I held his gaze, daring him to deny it.

Cross stared at me like I was a monster. After a long while, he smiled coldly.

He saw the truth, and it terrified him.

"Autumn, you really do surprise me."

His words were a compliment, but they felt like a curse.

Cross sent me home in style, drawing jealous stares from the city’s socialites.

The carriage was ostentatious, the guards intimidating. I tried to ignore the stares, focusing on what came next.

At the house gate, I lifted the car window, scanning the crowd until I spotted Eli in the distance, half-hidden behind a pillar, watching me anxiously.

Our eyes met, and for a moment, everything else faded away.

When our eyes met, I lowered my gaze, finally at ease, and let my maid help me inside.

I let myself hope, just a little, that things might work out.

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