I Diagnose Celebrities—And Their Secrets

I Diagnose Celebrities—And Their Secrets

Author: Bradley Lopez

Chapter 3: Reborn With a Diagnosis Destiny

The moment I was reborn as a baby, I heard a sly, mischievous voice in my head:

[The Miracle Doctor App is on sale! Not $999, not even $99, just $9.99! Take the Miracle Doctor App home today!]

[Let’s see who the lucky duck is today!]

[Oh, turns out it’s our born-miracle-doctor, little Riley Turner!]

[Wait, why Riley? Wasn’t the main app’s list for Laura?]

[Oh, Laura is Riley’s mom. Guess the tab rolled down to the kid.]

With a chime, the download was complete. Just like that.

The next moment, my new mom, Laura, said—

"My baby can roll her eyes—she must be a genius!"

"Why don’t we—"

"Send her to med school!" Wait, what?

A thought popped into my head. Loud and clear.

Last life? Chickens. This life? Medicine.

Just end me now. Please.

I could almost hear the universe laughing. Some people get a fairy godmother. Me? I got an app and a destiny with a stethoscope.

Jamie, always the worrier, asked, "Dr. Turner, are you okay?"

Thanks, Jamie—the patient left a while ago.

Jamie told me a streaming platform was hosting an event. They wanted me to diagnose celebrities live. For a huge sum.

As if money could tempt a miracle doctor like me. Ha.

Not a chance! ...Or so I thought.

I weakly waved him off. Told him I needed rest.

Jamie: "But they’re offering $2.5 million." Just like that.

He showed me a photo on his phone: "And a five-hundred-year-old premium wild ginseng root." My weakness.

Suddenly energized. Sat up straight, thumped my chest.

"Anytime, anywhere—Dr. Turner is ready!"

The old couch groaned beneath me as I sprang up, almost knocking over my mug of cold coffee. Jamie grinned, knowing exactly how to play me. He knows me too well. I’m a sucker for rare herbs and a fat paycheck.

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