I Diagnose Celebrities—And Their Secrets / Chapter 5: Scandal, Secrets, and Shock Diagnoses
I Diagnose Celebrities—And Their Secrets

I Diagnose Celebrities—And Their Secrets

Author: Bradley Lopez


Chapter 5: Scandal, Secrets, and Shock Diagnoses

The event venue was packed. Wall to wall.

Celebrities everywhere. Fans, too.

In that moment, I couldn’t help but sigh. Loudly.

"So many people!" I muttered.

The air was thick with perfume, nervous energy, and the distant thrum of fans chanting their idols’ names. I could feel the collective hope and anxiety pulsing through the room. This wasn’t just an event—it was a circus, and I was the main act.

Clearly, there was huge demand for alternative medicine. I’d barely sat down five minutes before a few B-list stars came up for a diagnosis. No rest for the miracle doctor.

My gossip counter? Ticking up fast.

Just then, a commotion. Fan section.

I looked up. The latest top pop idol sat down right in front of me.

He looked great on Instagram, but up close? He should thank his filter and Photoshop team.

Disappointing. Honestly.

His makeup was thick, and sitting face-to-face, the dark circles under his eyes were obvious. No hiding that.

He nodded. Offered his arm.

"Dr. Turner, I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately." He tried to sound casual.

Still hung up on how different he looked in person, I wasn’t too interested, but the moment I took his pulse, my gossip radar went off. Big time.

Oh wow. Just... wow.

I paused. No sugarcoating: "You’re running yourself ragged. You need to cut back on your sex life."

His face changed. He glanced around, nervous.

He glared, voice low. "Dr. Turner, I don’t know who paid you to say this, but there are a lot of my fans here. If they find out you’re making things up, you’ll be in big trouble."

I sighed. Internally.

Why do people always try to threaten doctors? Especially miracle doctors like me.

I didn’t hesitate. Laid it all out.

"Penthouse suite, three days and two nights, two boxes of strawberry-flavored condoms. Kitchen, couch, bedroom—all over the place. Just admit it—did it happen or not?"

The supposedly single idol: "..."

His manager, face stormy: "..."

Out of professional kindness, I added:

"And that little blue pill you take all the time—better stop. There’s something off with the ingredients."

"You’re taking it way too often. At this rate, in less than a week, you’ll end up with stomach problems. Seriously."

The idol: "..."

He was furious.

He stormed off, scowling.

I glanced regretfully at the gossip bubble’s photo grid. Such a shame—he was so easily rattled. I had a ton more diagnoses (and gossip) to share.

Oh well, a bunch of blurred faces isn’t much to look at anyway.

But seriously, what’s the point of censorship? I’m a premium member! What can’t I see?

After the idol, I welcomed my second big gossip source of the night:

A scandal-prone starlet whose new Netflix series was airing, surrounded by rumors and negative press.

She wasn’t very photogenic, but in person she was prettier than on screen.

She looked healthy and was much more polite than the idol.

"Dr. Turner, I’ve heard your skills are amazing, but you’re so hard to book. I finally got my chance today."

After some polite compliments, I started her diagnosis.

When I finished, she looked worried:

"That’s right. My digestive problems have lasted over a year. I’ve lost almost twenty pounds. I don’t even look good on camera anymore."

Me: "You’ve been arguing with your mom a lot this past year, right?"

Starlet: "Huh?"

Me: "No need to hide. Ten minutes ago, you had a big fight with your mom."

Starlet: "Ah?"

I added kindly: "But that’s not a big deal. Later, have screen legend Marilyn come over—I’ll give her an acupuncture treatment. Mother and daughter are connected. Once she’s treated, your illness will be half cured. You’ll be able to eat three helpings of mac and cheese tonight!"

She gasped.

She looked stunned, like she’d just heard something unbelievable.

Still, she kept her composure.

She’s a pro—it almost made me tear up.

"Dr. Turner, you once saved my best friend’s life, so I trust your skills."

"But you might not know, I grew up in foster care. I’ve never met my biological parents."

She bit her lip. "I’ll be honest, I did just argue backstage, but it was with Ms. Marilyn."

"But that’s because Ms. Marilyn scolded me for no reason. It was her daughter’s fault, so why should I be blamed?"

"I used to admire Ms. Marilyn, but her daughter is so arrogant and unreasonable—I stopped being a fan long ago."

I frowned, glanced at the gossip bubble showing the two women arguing backstage.

"Get a DNA test when you have time. You might find a surprise."

"Since your best friend is my patient, here’s a friendly tip: from your bone structure, you two are closely related."

The starlet’s face went blank.

Sometimes, the fewer the words, the bigger the deal.

The gossip bubble just said: [Mother, Daughter]

But the photo grid was just as juicy as the idol’s—eighteen shots, a real bombshell.

At first, I’d just guessed, but after a quick Google search, it all made sense.

Never thought I’d witness a real-life switched-at-birth drama. So exciting!

The starlet was beautiful and talented, but her reputation was terrible, with endless rumors and scandals.

The main thing people criticized was how her company marketed her as a 'Mini-Marilyn'—the sweet version—when she debuted, but after getting famous, she publicly dissed screen legend Marilyn on Twitter.

Rumor had it she’d bullied Marilyn’s daughter, Rachel Monroe.

Compared to the bold, sharp-tongued starlet Sierra Fox, the gentle Rachel Monroe was much more beloved by audiences.

Even though Rachel was just average-looking and looked nothing like Marilyn, she was way more popular than Sierra Fox.

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