Chapter 3: The Distance Between Us

On our wedding night, after lifting my veil, Shane skipped the champagne toast and went straight to his study.

The room was full of laughter and music, but Shane disappeared as soon as the formalities were over. I stood alone in my wedding dress, feeling more like a stranger than a bride.

After that, we treated each other like strangers. Three years married, and we never even consummated it.

We shared a house, but not a life. Meals were eaten in silence, conversations kept to the bare minimum. It was lonely, but I told myself it was what I wanted.

But thinking back, other than being distant, he never mistreated me in any other way.

He never raised his voice, never lost his temper. If anything, he went out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. I just never let myself see it.

The house was renovated, my food and clothes were always just right.

Everything I needed appeared without me having to ask. The sheets were always fresh, the kitchen stocked with my favorite snacks. It was easy to take for granted.

Honestly, my days at Shane’s place were even more comfortable than at home.

I’d never admit it out loud, but I felt safer there than anywhere else. The world outside was cold and judgmental, but inside those walls, I could breathe.

Scenes from my past life kept flashing before my eyes. I looked up at Shane, wanting to speak several times but choking up each time.

Every memory felt like a second chance I didn’t deserve. I wanted to tell him everything, to apologize for the years I’d wasted, but the words caught in my throat.

Seeing me silent, Pete snorted, “Satisfied? How could I be satisfied? Lila’s too shy to say it, but you should know—she doesn’t want to marry you!”

Pete’s voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. I winced, wishing I could disappear. Shane just looked at me, waiting for me to say something.

I finally snapped out of it and quickly scolded, “Pete, stop talking nonsense!”

My voice was sharper than I intended, but I couldn’t let Pete speak for me anymore. It was time I found my own voice.

Shane’s gaze fell on my face, deep as a bottomless well.

His eyes searched mine, looking for something I wasn’t sure I could give. The silence stretched between us, heavy with possibility.

I met his dark eyes, dazed. Almost without thinking, I reached out, brushed the snow from his shoulder. “I heard your truck broke down. If you don’t mind… my family’s car can give you a ride home.”

My fingers lingered on his jacket, brushing away the last traces of snow. The offer hung in the air, fragile and uncertain.

Pete’s eyes went wide in shock. “Lila, what are you saying? You want to ride back with him? I sabotaged his truck to help you, not so he could ride in yours!”

His outrage was almost comical, but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh. For once, I didn’t care what Pete thought.

At least he was honest. Sometimes, too honest.

It was one of the things I’d always liked about Pete—he never pretended to be anything he wasn’t. But this time, his honesty felt more like a weight than a comfort.

I sighed. “Pete, I was wrong before. I didn’t understand my own heart. From now on, don’t use me as an excuse to cause trouble.”

The words came out steadier than I expected. I felt lighter, somehow, as if speaking the truth had set something free inside me.

“I’ll be marrying Shane soon. If you make things hard for him, you’re making things hard for me.”

It was the first time I’d said it out loud—to Pete, to Shane, to myself. The words tasted strange, but right.

Pete’s eyes grew even wider. “Lila! Are you out of your mind? Do you even hear yourself?”

He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t care.

His shout drew the attention of everyone at the country club.

Heads turned, conversations paused. I could feel their eyes on me, but I stood my ground.

“I said—” I grabbed Shane’s hand, lacing my fingers with his, and declared, “I’m already engaged to Shane. Anyone who makes things difficult for him is making things difficult for me!”

The words echoed in the cold air, bold and clear. For a moment, I felt invincible.

With that, I ignored everyone’s stares and pulled Shane toward my car.

I didn’t look back, not even when I heard Pete calling after me. For the first time, I was choosing my own path.

Outside, it was freezing, but inside the Monroe family’s SUV, it was warm as spring.

The leather seats were heated, the air smelled faintly of vanilla and new car. I let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension drain from my shoulders.

Naturally, our car was far more luxurious than anything Shane owned.

It was the kind of car that turned heads in the grocery store parking lot, the kind my friends teased me about. Shane looked out of place, but he didn’t say a word.

As soon as he got in, Shane pulled his hand from mine.

The gesture was small, but it stung. I tried not to let it show, but my heart ached all the same.

I looked up at him, but he turned away, refusing to meet my gaze.

His profile was sharp in the dim light, eyes fixed on the window. I wanted to reach for him, but I didn’t know how.

I’d always thought he despised me, but now I wondered—maybe he was just… shy?

The thought made me smile, just a little. Shane had always been hard to read, but maybe that was part of his charm.

The melting snow had dampened his hair at the temples.

A single droplet traced its way down his cheek, catching the light. I wanted to reach out and brush it away, but I held back.

There were faint shadows under his eyes, his face pale, and he’d already coughed softly several times.

He looked exhausted, worn down by the night’s events. My worry spiked, and I couldn’t help but fuss over him.

My heart twisted with worry, and I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you still cold?”

My voice was gentle, softer than I meant. I hoped he could hear the concern in it.

Shane lowered his eyes, his voice strained. “Lila, there’s no one else here. You don’t have to… keep up the act.”

The words stung, but I understood. He’d spent so long doubting my intentions, it would take more than one kind gesture to change his mind.

I was caught off guard. “Act? What act?”

I searched his face for answers, but he only looked away, lips pressed tight.

“Isn’t this all because of your brother’s engagement?” He looked tired. “Your brother’s marrying the district attorney’s daughter. You’re upset, so you’re pretending to be nice to me, just to get back at him.”

His voice was flat, almost resigned. It hurt to see him so defeated, so convinced that he was just a pawn in someone else’s game.

So that’s what he thought.

The realization hit me hard. I’d spent so long wrapped up in my own fears, I’d never stopped to think how my actions looked from the outside.

Everyone believed I was in love with my brother’s best friend, and I’d never really questioned it myself.

It was the story everyone wanted to believe—the pretty girl in love with the golden boy. I’d played my part, never stopping to wonder what I really wanted.

I just thought my brother’s friend treated me well, and if I had to marry someone, being the mayor’s daughter-in-law was better than marrying a stranger.

It was practical, logical, but it wasn’t love. I knew that now.

Now, living this life again, I finally realized—my brother’s friend was nice to everyone.

He was the kind of guy who held doors open, remembered birthdays, sent flowers when someone was sick. I’d mistaken kindness for something more, and it had cost me dearly.

...

I was about to explain, but the car had already stopped at my family’s house.

The driver opened the door, the cold air rushing in. I hesitated, wishing I had more time to set things right.

I had no choice but to get out, and Shane followed.

We walked up the path in silence, the snow crunching beneath our feet. The house glowed with warm light, but I felt colder than ever.

“Thanks for the ride, Lila.”

His voice was polite, distant. It hurt more than I expected.

He really thought I was just giving him a lift? Seriously?

The thought made me want to scream. Didn’t he see how much I cared? Or was he too used to being overlooked?

It was late, the snow falling thick. His figure looked especially lonely in the wind and snow.

He stood there, shoulders hunched, as if bracing himself for another long walk home. My heart ached for him.

My family’s house wasn’t far from Shane’s, but after standing outside all night without food or water, he was in no shape to walk.

His lips were pale, his hands shaking. I couldn’t let him leave like this—not again.

I grabbed his sleeve. “You’re not planning to walk back, are you?”

My grip was gentle, but firm. I wouldn’t let him push me away this time.

He calmly pulled his sleeve free and stepped back.

The rejection stung, but I understood. He’d spent his whole life building walls, and it would take time to break them down.

Seeing how guarded he was, my heart ached. Knowing he wouldn’t remember, I could only say, “Of course I’ll have the driver take you back to your place.”

I tried to sound casual, but my voice trembled. I hoped he couldn’t hear the desperation in it.

A maid was already waiting for me at the door with a coat and a hand warmer. I shoved them all at him.

She looked surprised, but didn’t protest. Shane took the coat, his eyes flicking to mine in confusion.

“It’s late and snowing. Don’t catch a chill,” I said, eyes red with worry.

The words were simple, but I hoped he could hear everything I couldn’t say.

His lips moved. After a long moment, he rasped, “Thank you, Lila.”

The gratitude in his voice was real, and it made my heart skip a beat. Maybe, just maybe, I was getting through to him.

“We’re already engaged. You can call me Lila.”

I smiled, hoping to break the tension. It felt strange, but right.

“And if anyone should be thanking someone, it should be me thanking you, Shane.”

I looked at him, willing him to understand. There was so much I wanted to say, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Thank you for risking your life to protect me in our last life.

The thought echoed in my mind, heavy and bittersweet. I wanted to say it out loud, but I wasn’t ready—not yet.

“Lila, I want you to remember me for the rest of your life.”

His words from that night haunted me, a promise I couldn’t forget. I vowed, right then, to never let him go unnoticed again.

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