Chapter 4: Bad Omens and Movie Madness

[Whoever makes the claim has to prove it. Explain the whole story before passing judgment.]

Carter couldn’t wait to jump in:

[A month ago, I got dumped out of nowhere. I thought I did something wrong and kept reflecting. But two days ago, I overheard her on the track—she’s dating five guys at once. I felt like a fool. She still won’t admit it!]

Law student: [If it was like you said—she cheated, but you didn’t find out—why would she break up with you? Can’t she date six guys at once?]

Carter: [How would I know? Maybe she was afraid of getting caught, so she dumped me first. Five or six, it’s all her fault!]

Law student: [Okay, I’ll reserve judgment. Let’s see what Brooke says.]

Time to drop some truth.

[While I was dating Carter, I absolutely did not cheat. After we broke up, I’ve been single. Five or six? I’m not an octopus—where would I get that many arms? If you’re going to make up stories, at least make them believable. That café photo was just me helping my cousin interview part-timers. Don’t overthink it.]

Carter and I were basically on trial.

[That night you called and said you had five wedges. Did you say that or not?]

[Yeah, I had five wedges. I’ve done good deeds all my life—shouldn’t I get five wedges?]

[See, you finally admit it, Brooke, you’re a player.]

Wait!

Something’s off.

Law student: [Three minutes have passed. Brooke, anything to say in your defense?]

Crickets. Tonight, it’s Harvard Law.

After a minute, I uploaded a voice recording.

It was me and Mariah talking about how cantaloupes were cheap lately, and then us complaining about how expensive they’d gotten. That was it.

The internet went dead silent for a few minutes.

And then—boom!—ten minutes later, it exploded.

[One of the top ten most ridiculous events of 2023—a love drama started by a cantaloupe.]

[Never would have guessed this was the truth???]

[I feel sorry for Carter... never mind, I feel sorrier for myself. Last time I only got a few cantaloupe candies.]

[Started so dramatic, ended in laughter. I can’t, let me laugh some more, hahahahaha~~]

My roommate banged her phone on the bunk above me, laughing so hard she nearly fell off.

"I can’t, Brooke, I have to stand up for you. This is legendary."

So after my roommate chimed in, the whole school knew Carter got dumped because he wouldn’t eat cantaloupe.

That night, all the related posts quietly disappeared.

The next morning, my phone rang.

"Brooke, your delivery is here, please come downstairs to pick it up."

But I hadn’t ordered anything.

I yanked my roommate’s blanket. "Was it you? Did you use my number for your delivery again, trying to trick me into picking it up?"

She wiped her eyes, deadpan: "Brooke, if you keep waking me up, you’re gonna get struck by lightning."

Whatever.

"Keep dreaming!"

I headed downstairs in my slippers and spotted a delivery guy in a neon delivery uniform waiting by the door.

"Are you Brooke?" he asked, heavy accent and all.

I nodded, but his hands were empty.

"Where’s the package?"

He turned, rummaged in his box, and finally pulled out a giant loudspeaker.

"Brooke, your ex-boyfriend asked me to bring you a message: May all your future cantaloupes be empty shells! May all your future cantaloupes be empty shells! May you…"

The sound was so loud, I’m pretty sure it echoed across campus.

After that, he whipped out his phone.

"Miss, look at the camera, let me take a photo to report!"

Some men are just born petty.

I was shaking with rage.