Chapter 1: Dumped for an Esports Idol

I broke up with my online boyfriend just so I could chase after my esports idol.

Honestly, when I actually say that out loud, it sounds kind of nuts. Like, who does that? Seriously, am I insane? But the heart wants what it wants, and mine was set on Carter Woods—the guy who felt totally out of reach, except online.

During his livestream, my idol looked so bummed out, playing on a brand new account—starting from Bronze, grinding all the way up to Grandmaster.

He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world. Even though he was just grinding ranked games. Every time he lost, he'd sigh, run a hand through his hair, and slump lower in his chair. The chat tried to cheer him up, tossing emotes and spammy hearts, but nothing seemed to help. I spammed a few myself, but he barely noticed.

When his teammates pressed him for the reason, he said, "Just broke up. Feels bad."

There was a beat of silence after he said it so flatly, but you could hear the hurt behind the words. The chat went wild, of course—like it was reality TV. Even the mods couldn't slow it down.

I sent a comment: "Poor baby." Did I really just type that?

I hesitated before hitting send. Half-embarrassed, half-hoping he'd notice. My hands were clammy. The chat was moving so fast, the messages blurred together and I could barely keep up, my eyes darting over the scrolling feed. But I couldn't help myself. He just looked so lost, and the words slipped out before I could overthink them.

Then, all of a sudden, my idol stood up and rubbed his eyes. The sound of his chair scraping startled me, and I nearly dropped my phone.

"Fine, you don't want me, whatever—but now you show up in my stream like this?"

He was so dramatic, it was almost cute. The way he wiped at his eyes, like he was holding back tears—maybe he was, a little. For a second, I just stared. He stared straight at the camera, as if he could see me through the screen.

I swear, he was looking right at me.

"You feel bad for me?"

His voice cracked just a bit, and my heart squeezed. God, was he talking to me?

"If you really cared, why'd you break up with me?"

"Just say something nice and I'll get back together with you right now."

Me: ?

I just sat there, frozen, staring at the screen. Did he just... Seriously, what was going on? Was this all a bit? Or was there something more happening here?

And just like that, my best friend's little brother joined Carter's team, becoming my only connection in the esports world.

What were the odds? It felt like fate—suddenly, I had a foot in the door of the world I'd only watched from afar. Tyler, my best friend's little brother, was always tagging along when we were kids, but now he was making a name for himself. And through him, maybe I had a shot at meeting Carter for real.

My best friend promised me she'd help me get Carter Woods' Instagram. She was always scheming, that one. "Girl, if you want his Instagram, just say the word. Tyler owes me, anyway," she said, winking. I couldn't help but laugh, but inside, I was buzzing with hope.

So, chasing my idol, I dumped my online boyfriend of a year at record speed. No hesitation, just impulsive adrenaline. I didn't even think twice. My fingers flew over the keyboard, typing out a breakup message that felt both harsh and weirdly freeing. Maybe it was selfish, but I was chasing a dream, and I wasn't about to let an online maybe-boyfriend hold me back.

Me: "Let's break up. You like girls, I like hot guys, we're just not a match."

W: "?"

His response was just a single question mark. That was it? No anger, no heartbreak—just confusion. Ouch. I almost felt bad, but not enough to take it back.

Even though his voice was nice and he was a top-ranked player, Carter Woods was just drop-dead gorgeous!

Seriously, he had that classic heartthrob thing going on—messy brown hair, sharp jawline, and this lazy, crooked smile that could melt steel. Watching him game was like watching a movie star mess around in your living room.

No regrets. I deleted my ex at lightning speed and opened my idol's Twitch stream.

My hands shook a little as I hovered over the "unfriend" button. The mouse clicked, the sound echoing in my ears, and I felt this weird little thrill. Then I was free to tune into Carter's stream, heart pounding like I was about to jump on stage at the Grammys.

This year, my idol seemed different.

He slumped in his gaming chair, looking downcast.

It wasn't the same cocky Carter from last season. Where was the guy who used to trash talk after every win? He barely talked, barely smiled. Every time the camera cut to him, he looked like he'd just lost his best friend.

With a sad puppy look, he made a new League of Legends account.

I watched as he typed in his new username, letter by letter:

"Turning Into a Werewolf for You"

Okay, Twilight.

I mean, really? I snorted into my soda. Since when did Carter Woods get so emo? Was he moonlighting as the lead singer of a pop-punk band?

I couldn't help but laugh. The chat was loving it, too—memes, wolf emojis, even a few "Team Jacob" jokes. Someone started howling in the chat. The whole thing felt surreal.

When did Carter Woods join the Emo Pack? The chat started spamming wolf memes, and someone dropped a "Howl at the Moon" gif. I nearly choked on my drink.

On screen, the guy played match after match, racking up kills with ease, but still looked so wounded. I couldn't help but think, dude, snap out of it!

He was crushing it, absolutely destroying the competition, but you wouldn't know it from his face. He looked like he was doing community service, not playing his favorite game. Every time he got a pentakill, he just sighed, like it was a chore. I shook my head, grinning at the screen.

While waiting for a match, his teammate peeked over and asked, "What's up? Why so down today?"

"Didn't get to FaceTime with your little cutie?"

I paused, blinking. Was he really heartbroken? Was this Bachelor-level drama?

Once Carter Woods' relationship rumors got out, the stream exploded with viewers, and the chat was impossible to keep up with.

The viewer count shot through the roof. This was nuts. People who'd never watched a game in their life were suddenly experts in Carter's love life. "Who is she?" "Did they break up for real?" It was like TMZ, esports edition.

Carter still looked miserable:

"Just broke up. Feels bad."

He paused before saying it, and the whole chat seemed to collectively go "aww." It was like watching a puppy get rained on—everyone wanted to scoop him up and dry him off.

"If I get back together with her, I'm an idiot!"

The chat went wild:

"Which clueless girl dumped our puppy?"

"Oh man, he's got husband vibes now."

"Let him go—I'll take over!"

"Turns out, tears look good on him."

...

It was chaos—thousands of people, all fighting to be the next girl in Carter's life. My phone was blowing up with notifications. Some were joking, some were dead serious. I couldn't look away.

I joined in, typing: "Poor baby."

I hesitated, but then hit send. My heart was racing, like I'd just dropped a confession note into his locker.

My hands tingled as I watched the message disappear into the flood. The screen was a blur of hearts and spam, but I kept hoping—just maybe he'd see it.

Out of nowhere, Carter, staring at the screen, suddenly stood up, wiped his eyes, and, all worked up, said:

"Fine, you don't want me, whatever—but now you show up in my stream like this?"

His voice was sharp, almost hurt. I actually flinched, my breath catching. Was he talking straight to me? My cheeks burned, even though I knew it was impossible.

"You feel bad for me?"

"If you really cared, why'd you break up with me?"

"Just coax me a little and I'll get back together with you right now."

A bunch of people in the chat felt sorry for him too—who knew, maybe his ex was lurking in there somewhere.

The chat was full of sympathy and wild theories. "His ex is definitely here." "She's probably too shy to speak up." For a second, I wondered if maybe he really did know I was there.