Chapter 5: Old Flames, New Fears

I dreamed a long dream about my high school days.

My sixteen-year-old self, and a boy named Carter Woods.

Back then, he hadn't been scouted by a team yet—just a brilliant boy in the seat behind me, out of my league.

I liked him from the first day of high school.

He walked into homeroom wearing a hoodie two sizes too big, hair a mess, but his eyes were sharp and kind.

I was a goner from day one.

And for over ten years, it was a secret crush—hidden, but never willing to let go.

I watched him grow from awkward kid to campus legend, always from a distance.

My feelings never faded, no matter how hard I tried.

He skipped a grade to join our class, straight into the honors section—a genius, even the teachers were amazed.

Everyone was in awe of him, and I felt lucky just to sit nearby.

He never acted like he was better than anyone, though.

For three years, he sat behind me, and I stubbornly never changed seats.

That was the bravest thing I could do back then.

It sounds silly now, but it meant everything to me then.

He was smart, always at the top of the class, and lots of classmates came to him with questions.

He never turned anyone away, always patient and kind.

It made me like him even more.

The girl who sat next to him—the class beauty—took up all his break time, always pestering him.

I used to watch her, jealous and a little bitter.

She was everything I wasn't—confident, outgoing, pretty.

Carter sometimes looked annoyed, but most of the time, he was patient and thorough.

He'd lean in, explaining things in that soft voice of his.

I wished I had the guts to ask him for help, too.

I sat in front, secretly listening and jotting down his problem-solving steps.

I had a whole notebook filled with his explanations.

Sometimes I'd pretend I didn't understand just to hear his voice again.

Then I'd complain about being too timid, never daring to turn around.

I'd scold myself every night, promising to be braver tomorrow.

But tomorrow always came and went.

The closest I ever got was during group recitation in English class.

Our desks were grouped together, so every morning, I'd hear his gentle voice, and those mornings became my daily dose of hope and butterflies.

Those moments were everything to me.

Even now, I remember the way his voice sounded when he read Shakespeare.

Carter was the group leader.

Whenever he checked my recitation, I'd always meet his eyes, then quickly look down and avoid him.

He'd smile, just a little, and I'd feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Later, pushed by my seatmate, I wrote him a ridiculously childish love letter.

It was full of cheesy lines I'd copied from Tumblr.

I cringed just thinking about it.

I tried to slip it into his bag during PE, but I didn't expect our homeroom teacher to call him out about an early admission offer—and he turned it down.

That was when his esports path began.

He stood at the door, staring at me standing by his desk, lashes raised.

"Reed, did you leave something here?"

I looked up, ears burning.

My secret was laid bare in that moment.

I ran out of the classroom, but as I passed him, I said, "I wrote you a letter."

Behind me, I heard his calm, restrained voice: "Okay, I'll read it."

I never knew if he read it.

The next day, I heard gossip from my deskmate that he was with the class beauty.

I didn't dare ask, or bring up the letter.

I just regretted not being braver—if I'd tried a little harder, maybe he'd have noticed me.

My best friend secretly planned big things—she wanted me as her bridesmaid.

She was always the planner, organizing everything down to the last detail.

I was honored, even if I felt a little out of place.

After grilling her all night, I found out she'd somehow landed the TVG top-laner.

No wonder he always looked at me weird—my best friend must've spilled the tea.

But when I heard Carter Woods was the best man, I got cold feet again.

The thought of seeing him in a tux, standing next to my best friend at the altar, made my stomach flip.

It's like all my courage disappears around him.

I could be bold anywhere else, but around Carter, I was always sixteen again.

The wedding was simple, just close friends.

It was beautiful—sunset on the lawn, fairy lights twinkling overhead.

I tried not to cry, but failed miserably.

When I caught the bouquet, I cried my eyes out.

Everyone cheered, and I laughed through my tears.

Maybe it was silly, but it felt like a sign.

I wanted her happiness, but mine still felt so far away.

I watched her dance with her new husband, wondering if I'd ever get my own happy ending.

While I zoned out on the lawn, someone patted my head.

I jumped, startled, and looked up.

"What are you thinking about?" Carter's gentle voice above me.

He looked down at me, sunlight catching in his hair.

My heart skipped a beat.

I looked up and met his eyes again.

In his gaze, I saw that same boyish sparkle from high school.

After all these years, he was still the one I liked.

"Just wondering when I'll get to cash in on this bouquet."

I tried to joke, but my voice shook.

Carter sat beside me, watching the sunset. He seemed to mutter something under his breath.

I couldn't quite catch it, but it sounded like a wish.

I nervously tried to make conversation: "How's your online relationship going?"

He glanced at me, eyes unreadable: "What about yours? Still going well?"

I froze. I never told him about my online relationship.

Did he know everything?

"What's wrong, Maggie? Cat got your tongue?" Carter raised an eyebrow.

I was stunned—how did he know that name!

Such a ridiculous name, yet it sounded so good coming from him!

"When did you know it was me?" As soon as I asked, I knew I'd blown my cover.

Carter laughed: "Didn't you already know it was me?"

He looked so smug, I wanted to smack him. But I couldn't help but smile.

I realized Danny Eastman and Carter Woods were the same when my best friend got his Instagram through her brother.

It all clicked—the way he typed, the jokes he made, even the champions he picked.

I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

I had my suspicions—they sounded alike, played the same way, even liked the same champions and skins.

But how could someone so amazing fall for an ordinary girl like me in a silly online romance?

There's no way those CEO-falls-for-ugly-duckling stories happen in real life.

Even if they were the same person, I couldn't accept it. I didn't know how to face Carter.

I was still as timid as ever.

When I saw my friend suggestions, I realized the one I'd been longing for was right there, within reach.

For a moment, my heart burst with joy.

Turns out, he was the one I'd been waiting for all along.

I was happy, but also anxious.

What if he liked the confident, outgoing online version of me—Maggie Sue—not the real, awkward Savannah Reed?

So every time we met after that, I was even more careful.

Afraid he'd find out it was me, but also afraid he wouldn't.

Carter gently placed his hand on my head: "Look, the sunset's beautiful."

I looked up at the setting sun.

Suddenly, I remembered a line Danny once shared: "The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, but our story never ends."

I didn't dare speak, afraid I'd give away my nerves.

All along, he'd known all my secrets—my love letter, my alt account, my secret crush.

"Savannah Reed, I was never with Savannah."

"I've liked the same girl for over ten years."

After that day, I didn't talk to Carter again.

Even though he still messaged me sometimes, just like before.

I deleted him back then because I was afraid of the awkwardness if we recognized each other in person, but now it was even worse.

My best friend told me there was a class reunion tomorrow—Carter and the class beauty would be there.

I nervously tore through my closet, trying on outfits for two hours before finally picking one.

Only to show up and find out I was wearing the same thing as the class beauty.

Seriously?

I groaned, wanting to crawl under a table.

Of all the days to twin with my old rival.

I stood at the door, watching the lively karaoke scene, hesitating for ages before going in.

My palms were sweaty. I almost turned around and left.

"Why are you standing here?" Carter's voice sounded behind me.

I looked at him, then at the class beauty singing inside, unable to speak.

He took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders: "Come on."

He pushed open the door and walked in, taking the main seat amid everyone's teasing.

See? He always shines like that.

And I can only follow in his light, never able to touch it.

I slipped into a corner, sitting beside my best friend.

"I was worried you'd be embarrassed by the matching outfits—where'd you get that jacket?" she eyed Carter's jacket knowingly.

She already knew; I didn't need to say anything.

Suddenly, there was a commotion. I looked over at Carter.

Everyone was trying to get him and the class beauty to sing a love song together.

After all, everyone thought they dated back then.

Supposedly, someone once asked the class beauty about the rumor, and she just smiled without denying it.

"I don't sing," Carter said coolly, refusing.

He was so firm, the room went quiet.

The class beauty looked disappointed, but didn't push.

The class beauty had to settle for singing with another guy.

She put on a brave face, but I could tell she was upset.

With my best friend handing me two bottles of liquid courage, I finally got up and picked a song—"Someone Special."

My hands trembled as I picked up the mic.

The room faded away, and all I could think about was Carter.

With the music, I started singing:

Loving someone might take courage

If you want to be loved

Sometimes words run out…

My voice was shaky at first, but I found my rhythm.

The lyrics felt like they were written just for us.

When I finished the line "gentle and lasting," I heard a gentle voice join in:

We're each other's someone special

Can't let go, can't give up

Not just anyone takes it this seriously…

I turned around, dazed, and once again locked eyes with Carter.

He was singing with me, his gaze never leaving mine.

My heart felt like it might burst.

This time, I finally understood the warmth and longing in his gaze.

I looked away.

My special someone—how lucky, after all this time, to meet you again.

I promised myself, right then, that I wouldn't let fear hold me back anymore.

This time, I'm determined to run to you, no matter what.

Some clueless person posted a video of me and Carter singing, and we shot to the top of the trending topics.

My phone blew up again.

Everyone was talking about "the duet," speculating about our relationship.

#CarterWoodsSavannahReedSinging#

#CarterWoodsSavannahReedSomeoneSpecial#

#SavannahReedPushingBoundaries#

Some of my old borderline videos from when I started short-form content got dug up, even though I'd deleted and hidden them.

It was my worst nightmare—my cringiest moments, back in the spotlight.

When I first joined the MCN (creator network), my boss told me it was tough for female influencers to stand out, no matter the path.

Only by pushing boundaries could I get traffic.

I refused.

Making suggestive content for money just wasn't me.

But when my boss pulled out the contract and pointed at the sky-high termination fee, I had to cave.

"You belong to me now, just a puppet on strings."

"Work hard, and we'll talk."

I always picked the least revealing clothes and kept my dances as proper as possible.

But I still couldn't escape the internet's judgment.

Those videos never really got popular. What made me known was a makeup transformation of a supporting actress from a TV drama.

But online, I'm still just the influencer who got famous by pushing boundaries.

I know there's no point explaining.

People only believe what they want, and the world is always stricter with women.

As usual, I didn't plan to respond.

I've heard it all before.

But someone seemed furious.

Not long after the trending topic blew up, Carter started firing back at the hate comments:

"Who asked you?"

"You don't know the whole story, but you gotta yap?"

"Stop pretending to be neutral—you're just dumb."

...

I never thought Carter would go off like that over something so trivial.

He was always calm and collected online, but now he was fighting for me. It made me feel seen.

I couldn't take it, so I messaged him: "Thanks, but maybe we should keep a low profile?"

Carter: "You can put up with this?"

"Yeah."

"But I can't stand them talking about you."

My heart skipped a beat, like an electric current ran through me—tingly and sweet.

Carter kept going: "No one gets to talk about you."

"Except me."

"Wait, no."

"Not even me."

I laughed, tears stinging my eyes. He was so earnest, it hurt.