Chapter 3: Three Years of Hopeless Devotion

And just like that, three years went by.

Days turned into months. Months blurred into years. It’s funny how quickly you can get used to someone’s silence in your house. Silence. It just becomes part of the wallpaper, always there but never quite belonging.

Sebastian was always a cold, distant person.

Even when he was right in front of me, he felt miles away. Sometimes I’d catch him staring out the window at nothing, face unreadable.

The first few days after I brought him home, he was on high alert, always hiding in the corners, staring at me in silence.

He’d flinch if I got too close, like some stray dog expecting a boot. I tried to keep my distance, but it hurt to see him so closed off.

If I got close and tried to touch him, he’d just say, “Get lost.”

Every time I reached out—literally or figuratively—he’d shut me down with those two words. I started to wonder if he’d ever let anyone in again.

That was all he ever said.

He never yelled. Never explained. Just those two words, delivered with a glare that could freeze hell over.

But I didn’t give up.

I kept telling myself I could wait him out. That if I just showed him enough kindness, he’d eventually thaw. Stubbornness runs in my family, and I had it in spades.

I’d heard that desserts could lift someone’s mood, so I baked all kinds of sweets for him myself.

I scoured Pinterest for recipes, ruined at least a dozen batches, and left plates of cookies and brownies outside his door—sometimes with a note, sometimes just in silence. Half the time, he didn’t touch them. The other half, I’d find crumbs, but never a thank you. Every time, I’d think, well, maybe next time.

I heard he used to love racing, so I imported a top-of-the-line sports car for him.

The dealership thought I was nuts, but I didn’t care. I parked it in the driveway—just sat there, looking out of place—and left the keys on his nightstand. He never drove it. I figured he was too proud, or maybe just didn’t want to owe me.

Whatever good thing I heard about, I tried to make it happen for him.

Tickets to concerts, new clothes, the best tech gadgets. I was like a one-woman wish-fulfillment factory, just hoping to see him smile for real, even once.

But all of it only ever earned me two words.

“Boring.”

He’d glance at the gifts, barely even look at me, and dismiss it all with a single word. Sometimes I wondered if he even realized how much it stung.

Friends in our circle heard about it and told me to toughen up, dump him, and find another brooding bloodsucker.

Riley, my best friend, was especially blunt. “Girl, there are plenty of fish in the undead sea. You don’t need to settle for the one with a death wish.” I’d laugh it off, but deep down, I knew she was right.

But I was too in love with Sebastian’s face.

It was ridiculous, but true. That face could’ve launched a thousand ships—or at least a thousand late-night fantasies. I convinced myself there had to be something more beneath the surface.

No matter how cold or guarded he was, I couldn’t bring myself to let go.

I clung to hope like it was a life raft. Maybe I was just stubborn. Maybe I was delusional. Either way, I couldn’t walk away.

After he lost everything, he was basically stuck in my family’s house—thanks to me.

I told myself I was helping him get back on his feet. But maybe I just didn’t want to let him go. The guilt gnawed at me, but I pushed it aside.

Later, I found out that Sebastian had once loved someone passionately, only to be betrayed and left with nothing.

The pieces clicked into place. Suddenly, all the walls, all the anger, all the refusal to trust anyone—it made sense. For a moment, I almost pitied him.

So his high walls made sense.

I convinced myself I could scale them, brick by brick. That if I just loved him enough, he’d let me in.

To win him over, I doubled down—clinging to him, playing the doormat, doing everything I could.

I became his shadow, always there, always waiting. My pride? Dignity? I let them gather dust. I kept hoping for a miracle.

Three years went by in a flash. Just like that.

It’s wild how time slips away when you’re waiting for someone to love you back. I blinked, and suddenly, three birthdays, three Christmases, and countless lonely nights had passed.