Chapter 4: The Night Passion Died

It wasn’t until last month that Sebastian finally agreed to date me and we slept together for the first time.

I’d built up that night in my head for so long. I imagined fireworks. Passion. Maybe even a little awkwardness. What I got was something else entirely.

That night was his blood moon.

A rare night when vampires are supposed to be at their most intense. I was nervous, but excited. I thought maybe, finally, things would click between us.

He was burning hot all over, veins bulging along his arms, but he still held back, forcing himself to be gentle.

He looked like he was fighting himself every second, jaw clenched, muscles tense. I tried to meet him halfway, but it felt like dancing with a ghost.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he asked cautiously:

“Vivi?”

He sounded so unsure, so fragile. It was the first time I’d ever heard him sound like that. I wanted to reassure him, to make him feel safe.

I was so desperate I told him to hurry up.

I’d waited so long, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I wanted him—really wanted him—all of him, and I didn’t care if it was messy or imperfect.

But that whole night, Sebastian barely moved, slow and restrained the entire time.

Every minute felt like an hour. He held back so much I almost wondered if he was afraid of breaking me. The passion I’d dreamed of just wasn’t there.

Such a great body, such terrible technique. Ouch.

It was almost comical. If I hadn’t been so heartbroken, I might’ve laughed. Instead, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering what I’d done wrong.

I couldn’t accept it. Afterward, I tried seducing him over and over in sexy lingerie, but he turned me down every time.

I bought new outfits, tried every trick in the book. He’d just look away, mumble some excuse, and disappear into his study. My confidence took a nosedive.

Tonight was the thirteenth time this month he’d rejected me. Lucky number thirteen. I’d lost count of how many times I’d been left standing there, feeling ridiculous in my lace and silk.

He deliberately avoided me in my black lace dress, heading straight into the study and rummaging through files.

He didn’t even glance at me. Just breezed past, eyes glued to a stack of paperwork. I stood in the doorway, feeling invisible.

Then he booked a red-eye for a "business trip" that very night.

No warning, no explanation. Just a text: “Gone for work. Back in a week.” He left me standing there, alone in our too-big apartment.

I never really guarded myself around him. Not once.

I’d always trusted him, left my laptop open, never locked my phone. I thought we were a team. Turns out, I was just an open book he never bothered to read.

Alone in my empty room, I tried to reassure myself.

I kept telling myself it was just a rough patch. Maybe he was struggling with his vampire side, or worried about hurting me. Anything but the truth.

Maybe Sebastian just wasn’t ready yet. Maybe he was afraid his vampire urges would get out of control and he’d hurt me.

I clung to that thought, let it wrap me up like a security blanket. It was easier than facing reality.

But when those livestream comments appeared, I finally understood.

The truth was uglier than anything I’d imagined. I felt sick, like I’d swallowed a mouthful of broken glass.

[How could a vampire be bad in bed? He just can’t get it up for the side character—he goes limp when he sees her!]

[He’s a beast with the heroine, but with the side character he needs pills just to manage it. Sleeping with her is all about getting intel…]

Each comment felt like a slap. I’d been so desperate for his love, I hadn’t seen what was right in front of me.