Chapter 1: Reset After Ruin

The summer after senior year—right after retaking the SAT—I got hit with three gut punches: my family went broke. The guy I’d been crushing on for three years, Evan Lin, started dating his childhood sweetheart. And, just like I’d feared, I totally bombed the test.

It felt like my whole world turned upside down in just a week. I can still see myself sitting on the porch steps, sticky summer heat pressing in, while my dad broke the news about the house. Even the cicadas sounded mournful that day. I tried to laugh it off, but the ache in my chest just wouldn’t go away. For a second, I wondered if it ever would.

My dad sold our house in downtown Maple Heights, and we moved back to our old place out in the country.

The new house smelled like dust and old boxes—like the attic after a long winter. The floors creaked in all the same places they used to, but everything felt smaller somehow. I missed the city lights, the buzz of traffic, and even those late-night takeout runs with friends. Now, all I could hear at night were crickets. And the distant hum of the highway.

After that, I ghosted everyone and enrolled in a new high school to repeat my senior year.

I changed my number, deleted my socials, and slipped off the radar. It was easier to start over where nobody knew my story—no questions, no pity. Honestly, I just needed a reset, a quick pit stop.

A year later, I got my acceptance letter from Northlake University.

I stared at the envelope for a solid minute, barely breathing. When I finally tore it open, the word "Congratulations" almost made me burst into tears. Was this really happening? I called my mom, and for the first time in months, she sounded genuinely happy. I let myself hope again, just a little.

A few days after classes started, I ran into a former high school classmate in the dining hall.

The place was buzzing with freshmen—loud voices, clattering trays everywhere. I was picking at my salad, headphones in, when I heard someone call my name.

She looked just as surprised to see me. “Autumn Reed!”

I turned at the sound of my name, and a familiar face walked over.

“It’s really you!” Riley Chen said, grinning as she balanced her lunch tray. “Are you here by yourself?”

I nodded, feeling a little awkward. For a second, I wondered if I should have lied, but the truth slipped out before I could think twice.

She turned and said something to the two friends waiting in line with her, then came over and sat down with me.

She blinked, still stunned. “When I saw your profile in the freshman group, I didn’t even believe it was you!”

Back in high school, Riley was always the outgoing one—easy to talk to, always laughing. I remembered how she could get even the shyest kid to join a group project or throw together a last-minute pizza party after finals. But I’d had my heart set on Evan back then. So, I hadn’t hung out with her much. I always admired that about her from a distance.

Oh, right. By the way… why did you suddenly drop off the map back then? We couldn’t reach you for the graduation party.

I smiled. “My family lost everything and we had to move. My phone got stolen, too.”

“Dang!”

Riley kept saying I’d had it rough, then pulled out her phone to add me on Facebook Messenger.

She acted like we’d never lost touch, just picking up where we left off. Her thumbs flew over the screen, and she beamed when my name popped up on her friend list. It was weirdly comforting, like slipping on an old hoodie that still fit just right.

After we finished eating, I told her I was heading to the library. She walked with me the whole way.

The campus was sprawling and green, students lounging on the quad, tossing frisbees. Riley kept pace beside me, chatting about classes and dorm life. I could feel her glancing at me, like she was working up the nerve to say something. I wondered what was on her mind.

A few times, she looked at me, opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. The silence between us stretched, but she kept walking beside me.

I finally asked, “What’s got you so tongue-tied?”

Riley laughed, scratching her head, cheeks a little pink. “Don’t think I’m being nosy, okay?”

“You really haven’t talked to Evan at all this past year?”

There was a time when just hearing that name would wreck me. Now, hearing “Evan” again, it felt like it belonged to someone else’s life.

It was strange—like hearing the name of an old TV show I used to love but barely remembered. Funny how things change.

“No.”

I always thought it was a shame you two never happened. I really shipped you guys—no, it wasn’t just me, the whole class did.

Maybe it was how earnest she looked when she said that, but I couldn’t help laughing. “He never liked me. Honestly, girl, you were rooting for the wrong couple.”

In my head, I added: If you’d shipped him and Sarah Young from the next class, that would’ve been the real sweet couple.

I’d seen them together once at a school dance—her in a blue dress, him looking awkward in a suit. They made sense in a way I never did with him.

“No way! You know, Evan was always so cool and mysterious, and good-looking too. Tons of girls wanted to go after him, but nobody dared.”

She waved her hands, eyes shining. “But you did! You’d call his name all sweet, ask him to eat with you, wait for him after class—seriously! Watching you two was the highlight of my senior year.”

“He was cold to everyone else, sure. But with you, he always looked a little lost around you. Softer, somehow.”

“Whenever the teacher called on you, Evan was always there to bail you out. It was adorable!”

I kept smiling, but I knew what it really felt like to go all-in and get nothing back. Back then, I was chasing him like a puppy, trying so hard, but he couldn’t shake me and just put up with it.

It’s funny, looking back now. I used to think every little kindness meant something more. But sometimes, people are just polite—or too tired to push you away.

Honestly, Riley was a hardcore shipper. She walked me all the way to the library and still seemed reluctant to leave. “Autumn, I’ll head out now. Let’s keep in touch on Messenger!”

I waved at her and smiled. “Bye!”

She shot me one last grin before darting off, her ponytail bouncing. For the first time in a long while, I felt a little less alone on this huge campus.

That evening, when I got back to the dorm, my roommate Holly Zhang was wearing a face mask and pointed at a box of macarons on my desk. “Autumn, someone who said they were your high school classmate dropped these off for you.”

I walked over and pulled out my phone to message Riley. She seemed to know what I was thinking: “Don’t refuse! These were the graduation gifts I got for the whole class. I’m just making it up to you now.”

After a beat, I sent her a thank-you emoji.

She replied almost instantly: [Autumn, how about I add you back to our high school group chat?]

My hand hovered over the screen. Evan’s cool, distant face popped into my mind. My chest tightened.

It’s been so long. He already has a girlfriend. There’s nothing for me to be afraid of anymore.

[Sure!]

A few seconds after I sent the message, I got a notification that I’d been added to the group chat.

Right away, a bunch of people started sending messages, one after another.

[Whoa]

[Is it really Autumn Reed?]

The dorm door opened and another roommate came in, tossing her soaked Walmart bag on the floor and complaining, “What’s with this weather? Why’d it have to start raining before I got back?”

“Autumn, I’m gonna go shower first!”

Go ahead—don’t get sick!

“Will do!”

By now, a lot of classmates were popping up in the group chat.

[Yep, it’s me—Autumn Reed.]

[Oh my god, what happened back then? We couldn’t reach you at all, scared us half to death!]

[Yeah, seriously!]

Me: [Sorry, my phone got stolen, and it took a long time before I got a new one.]

[Hey, as long as you’re okay!]

[Autumn, I heard your family went broke? Is that true?]

I stared at the question: [Yeah.]

After that, the group chat went quiet for a moment.

Then someone spoke up: [It’s all in the past.]

[How busy are your classes? If you’re not too swamped, maybe we can all get together sometime.]

[Let me send you a screenshot—our schedule is brutal, even worse than high school.]

[Wow, my two-days-on, three-days-off schedule is a whole different world.]

…

I clicked on the group members list and saw that Evan’s profile picture was still Hello Kitty. I couldn’t help but wonder: Didn’t Sarah make him change it?

Not sure why, but I tapped on his profile. His Instagram was empty. Maybe he’d set it to private.

“Holly—” She walked over wrapped in a blanket, and I hurriedly flipped my phone over, a little flustered.

Luckily, all her attention was on the macarons, not my quick move.

“Can I try one of these macarons?”

She reached for the box, glancing at me like she was asking permission but hoping I’d say yes. “This brand is really good.”

I laughed and opened the box for her. “Go ahead!”

She took one and bit into it. Closed her eyes, like she was at a fancy Parisian bakery, not our cramped dorm. “Oh my god, this is amazing. You need to try the pistachio one.”

As she ate, she said, “By the way, Autumn, are you free next Wednesday? Want to join me for a volunteer event?”

“Yeah, sure!”

“Awesome! I’m heading up to bed. Thanks for the macarons, gorgeous!”

She winked, already halfway up her bunk ladder, crumbs trailing behind her. I shook my head, smiling at her antics.

When I picked up my phone again, I saw a new friend request had been accepted.

It was Evan!

My eyes went wide, and then a message popped up from him: [Something you need?]

Oh no, oh no!

He probably thought I was bothering him again.

I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him I’d added him by mistake, but then thought better of it.

[No, just added you from the group.]

After sending that, I grabbed my clothes and headed for a shower.

Whatever. He has a girlfriend now. It’s not like I have any feelings left for him.

When I got back, my phone screen was still on. It showed “typing…” for a while, and then finally a message came through: [Okay.]

I finally exhaled. Didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath. The old me would’ve obsessed over that single word for days. Now, it just felt like closing a door I’d already walked through.