Chapter 6: The Goodbye That Lingers

Back at the dorm, Ethan called to apologize. Jasmine was his neighbor, he explained, and their families were close. She’d overheard our plans and followed him. But she wasn’t his girlfriend, he insisted. I tried to believe him, but a skeptical voice in my head wouldn’t let me.

I listened, but the words barely registered. It felt like too little, too late. I wanted to believe him, but the image of Jasmine at his side was burned into my memory. I sighed, resigned. Maybe I’d never get the answer I wanted.

Still, seeing her with him, seeing how easily she fit into his life, made me feel like an outsider. I started following Jasmine’s Instagram, looking for glimpses of Ethan: his cat, his internship, his test scores.

Every post felt like a tiny wound, but I couldn’t look away.

I’d scroll late at night, the glow of my phone illuminating all the ways I didn’t belong. I told myself it was harmless. But every picture made me feel smaller, less important.

Senior year, Ethan came back from his internship. We’d run into each other at the library, sometimes walking home together. He was planning to study abroad, and I knew my chances were fading. Each conversation felt like sand slipping through my fingers.

He talked about London like it was a promise, something he couldn’t wait to chase. I tried to be happy for him, but every conversation felt like a goodbye. It stung more than I’d admit.

One night, a thunderstorm trapped us in the library. He borrowed an umbrella, walked me home, and got soaked himself, tilting the umbrella to keep me dry. I watched him, and for a second, I wanted to walk through life with someone like that.

His hair was plastered to his forehead, his sneakers squishing with every step, but he still made sure my backpack stayed dry. When we reached my dorm, I almost told him everything right then. My heart was pounding.