Chapter 4: The Boat That Leaves No Return

I lay awake all night, watching as dawn painted the sky with the faintest blush of pink.

I wandered the alley for a while, telling myself I was just making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, but the truth was, I was hoping for something—someone—to show up.

I stared down the alley for what felt like forever, but no one came looking for me.

When I reached the dock, the river was still wrapped in morning mist, the world hushed and waiting.

As the boat set off, the fog suddenly lifted, sunlight breaking through in a way that felt like more than just weather—a kind of quiet promise that maybe something was changing.

Standing at the bow, I heard the boatman say it would take several days on the water to reach Ashford.

I handed over half my silver for a ticket, feeling the weight of each coin.

Not long after we set out, I heard children in the cabin singing:

"Everyone says the south is lovely,

Travelers settle down and grow old here.

Spring water greener than the sky,

Rain tapping soft on painted boats…"

I remembered this poem from childhood, the lines as familiar as an old friend.

The last lines say, "Don’t go home until you’re old—going home will break your heart."

But I always thought it should be: "Only when your heart is broken should you go home."

But why get hung up on going home? Maybe it’s just that I can’t stay here anymore.

A river breeze fluttered the sails, cool and sharp.

"Big waves today. You look like you’re from the capital, miss—doesn’t the river make you seasick?" the boatman asked, his eyes curious as he watched me stand steady at the bow.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, lost in memories. "I’ve weathered bigger storms than this."

Back when Sebastian was just the overlooked fifth prince, nobody cared who followed him. Whether I could read or fight didn’t matter.

Then, when pirates raided the southern coast and the court was paralyzed, Sebastian—barely eighteen—volunteered to lead the defense.

I grew up bouncing between mountain villages and city streets. I couldn’t read much, but I was good at surviving.

Empires rise and fall; tides roll in and out. The clouds just keep drifting.

I followed him onto that boat.

Even when I was so seasick I could barely stand, I spent sleepless nights at the bow, helping him chart the storms.

Sebastian trusted me. He had no one else.

The court officials all had their favorites among the princes—no one supported him.

But Sebastian had me, and I had him.

"Miss, are you from Ashford?" The boatman finished tying a knot, glancing over at me.

I pursed my lips, hesitated, then gave a lopsided smile. "Yes and no."

Truth was, I’d never set foot in Ashford. But Grandpa used to tell me stories about the south, always saying I’d make it there someday.

The boatman rolled up his sleeves, unfazed by my answer. "The south is good for the soul. Stay in Ashford for half a year, and you’ll forget how to frown."

He could tell, just by looking, that I was carrying a heavy heart.

But once, I’d been the happiest girl in the suburbs of the capital.

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