Chapter 5: Body Snatchers in Pine Ridge

After three days in the shed, the hero raccoon and I were finally released on the fourth morning.

The hero raccoon bounded away the second it was free, scurrying off through the trees. I took my time, climbing onto my favorite rock to watch the sunrise. The orange light spilled over a sea of mist. I hadn’t seen a view like this in ages. Beautiful.

I stretched lazily and heard tourists approaching, chatting as they walked.

"Did you see that news from our city?"

"What news?"

"Let me read it to you. Ahem. Early this morning, Ms. Boone, who’d been in a coma, woke up and climbed out a hospital window using a dogwood tree. Staff say she’s acting animal-like—almost feral—and several witnesses reported seeing her crawling, leaping, and running toward Pine Ridge. A spokesperson warned the public not to approach. Her husband, Mr. Sutter, and best friend, Ms. Madison, are offering a $15,000 reward for any leads. Contact: 555-xxxx5 for Mr. Sutter, 555-xxxx2 for Ms. Madison."

"Pine Ridge? Isn’t that right here?"

"Yeah, what if we’re lucky enough to run into her? We could make an easy fifteen grand!"

"Good idea! Let’s go look elsewhere!"

"..."

Their voices faded into the distance.

I quietly turned around on my rock, watching them walk away, deep in thought. Coma? Ms. Boone? Husband Travis Sutter? Best friend Madison? Acting like a raccoon? Wait…

Oh no. Could it be that the raccoon in my body woke up? So the person they’re talking about… is me?

Oh god! My face—uh, raccoon face—is ruined…

How’s a raccoon supposed to live like this?

My whiskers drooped as I tried to process this new disaster. If the news was right, my body was out there somewhere, running wild.

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I quietly tailed the two tourists who were searching for "Ms. Boone," hoping to find my body before the raccoon inside it caused any trouble.

Sure enough, I spotted my body at the foot of a hill—a frail woman in a hospital gown, hair a mess, hugging a tree and struggling to climb. Skinny limbs, bony, baring her teeth, hair wild—so ugly I didn’t even want to look.

Once the tourists moved on, I circled her a few times, making sure no one else was around. I tried to drag her away into the woods, but—damn, when did my body get so heavy? Or is the raccoon’s soul just that dense? I struggled forever and couldn’t budge her.

To my surprise, just as I was about to lose my mind, the hero raccoon reappeared. It looked around, twisted and jumped, then chattered with the raccoon in my body. Suddenly, they hugged each other, all excited. Apparently, they knew each other…

Then the hero raccoon grabbed one shoulder, winked at me, and I immediately got the message. I took the other shoulder, and together we hopped and dragged the raccoon-in-my-body into a cave deep in the woods.

We looked like a weird, furry search-and-rescue team, hauling a half-conscious human into a secret hideout. Sometimes you just have to improvise.

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It was a secluded spot by the creek, hardly ever visited by staff—a perfect hideout. I planned to keep the raccoon in my body here for a while, hoping to find a way to swap our souls back. No matter what, I couldn’t let Travis and Maddie find her before I turned back into a human. Otherwise, who knows what would happen to me—or the raccoon in my body.

While I was trying to figure out how to keep the raccoon in my body from running off, I turned and saw her snuggling up to the hero raccoon, all lovey-dovey—almost kissing.

Me: "???"

So they’re a couple? They can recognize each other’s souls through the body swap? But… watching them like this makes me not want to look at my own body at all!

Furious, I pried them apart and stood between them. The hero raccoon looked confused, while the raccoon in my body glared at me, clearly annoyed. She lunged at my face, but the hero raccoon stopped her in time. Then it chattered at her in raccoon-speak, and she finally calmed down, sitting off to the side, rubbing her growling stomach in hunger.

I quickly mimed that I’d get her some food and told them to stay put. She seemed to understand, waving her hands in excitement. The hero raccoon solemnly waved at me, too. I trusted them! I bounced out of the woods to scrounge up some food.

Just as I crested the hill, I saw my nemesis ranger handing out boxes of snack cakes to the raccoons. Not wanting to wait in line—and worried the hero raccoon and raccoon-in-my-body might wander off—I rushed over while his back was turned, grabbed a handful of cakes, and tried to run.

But the next second, the ranger grabbed me by the scruff and hoisted me up, cakes scattering everywhere.

I struggled, waving my arms. "Ranger, what’s your problem? I just took a few extra cakes. Why won’t you let me go? You’ve got it out for me!"

He flicked me. "Your appetite’s gotten bigger, huh? Think you can eat all that?"

I pouted. "Why do you care if I can finish it?"

He muttered to himself, not understanding me. "Don’t waste food!"

We glared at each other for five minutes before I gave in, picked up three cakes, and left sulking.

But when I got back to the cave, the hero raccoon and the raccoon in my body were gone.

Me: "???"

Should’ve known raccoons can’t understand people. Now what do I do?

I kicked a pinecone in frustration, then stuffed my face with one of the cakes. Emotional eating, raccoon-style.

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