Chapter 4: The Most Awkward Proposal Ever

“Knock knock.”

Who could it be? Mom shouldn’t be back from shopping yet.

I opened the door, feeling awkward. Ethan Caldwell stood there, serious.

He was wearing his best professor face, but I could see the nerves behind his eyes.

“Grab your birth certificate and come to the County Clerk’s Office with me.”

I glanced at the calendar—three months had passed.

“Do we need the certificate to opt out?”

He hesitated, then said firmly, “Yes. Hurry.”

At the office, the attendant greeted us enthusiastically.

She wore a sash that read “Love Ambassador,” and grinned like she was about to host a game show.

“Here to process what business? Get your marriage certificate today and receive a $888 honeymoon package!”

Ethan Caldwell nodded coolly, holding my hand, and led me to the counter. I felt awkward—his hand was hot and sweaty. What was with him? We were supposed to be opting out, and he was sweating all over me.

He squeezed my hand, not letting go. I could feel my own pulse racing in response.

He handed over our documents. “We’d like to opt out.”

The clerk tried to persuade us to get married instead, but Ethan Caldwell interrupted, “And get married.”

“What!”

Both the clerk and I were stunned. She quickly beamed and started processing our marriage.

I tried to pull my hand away, but he held on tight.

“Where have you been these past ten days? Weren’t we breaking up?”

He squeezed my hand tighter. “There was an emergency experiment at the institute—total lockdown. I just got out today.”

There was something almost aggrieved in his tone. He pulled out his phone and tapped a few times.

“I just sent you a file—my analysis of our long-term compatibility.”

“Based on our interactions, I think we’re very compatible.”

I was speechless. Here we go again—first an opt-out contract, now a marriage analysis. Is this what romance looks like in 2024?

I rolled my eyes, but inside, my heart was doing somersaults.

“Do you like me?” I asked nervously.

His ears turned red. Weird! I’d never seen him like this, not even in his most embarrassing moments.

He said stubbornly, “Uh, yeah. I, um, like you. You like me, and after what we’ve done…”

The clerk was laughing so hard her face cramped.

I finally understood how his mind worked. I tried a different approach.

“Do you want to build a family and spend your life with me?”

He looked me in the eye and nodded. “I like girls. We can buy her pink dresses.”

I blinked, then realized he meant a daughter. My face went hot. “Oh.” I laughed. “Yeah—I’d like a girl too.”

When we left the office, hand in hand, I still couldn’t believe it. I’d actually been tricked into marriage by this socially awkward straight man.

I snatched the $888 honeymoon package from his arms.

“Remember, I’m only marrying you because the honeymoon package is such a great deal.”

He grinned, eyes twinkling. “Want to go to my place and plan our honeymoon?”

Blushing, I nodded.

“Alright.”

We walked out into the sunshine, hand in hand, ready to start the strangest, happiest chapter of our lives. Only in America, right? Well, maybe not, but here we are.