Chapter 5: Ancestral Shit Mountain

Musa na tech department manager, but all those oga problem full am—no sabi tech, but like to give order anyhow.

For this Nigeria, we get many Musa dem for tech industry—people wey just waka enter position, no too sabi book, but dem sabi shout. Dem go wear shirt and tie, but if you ask dem about code, na story. Dem like to dey call meeting anyhow, dey show power.

Palm Grove Tech dey do digital dental business. Before I join, the system already scatter everywhere.

As I first see their platform, I dey fear. Bugs full everywhere like mosquito for rainy season. Customer dey complain tire—sometimes I go dey wonder why client never carry dem go court.

Requirements dey change every time, every project na fire brigade approach, and development/testing dey always rush. Add Musa wey dey always scatter things with him random command, and everything just dey more tangled.

E be like say every week new idea go drop. Sometimes, customer go talk say dem want new feature by tomorrow. Na so Musa go enter our chat group, drop one instruction like thunder, everybody go dey run upandan. No time to test, no time to think. Sometimes, Musa go just shout for meeting, "Make dem just deploy am jare!" Na so confusion dey enter system.

Na so problem full ground.

After some months, you no go fit trace the problem again. You fit dey chase one bug for three days, na another person mistake. Everybody just dey patch code, dey hope say e no go break. Na so e be.

Modules too big, code dey repeat everywhere, logic just twist anyhow…

I fit dey work on one thing, go see the same code repeated inside another file. You go dey ask, "Who write this one again?" Logic dey turn to spaghetti. I dey reason say, if I show this thing to my mentor for school, e go just shake head.

Anytime new requirement land, na to pile bug on top bug. E be like say you lie once, then you go lie ten times to cover am—call am shit mountain sef na respect.

Me I go joke with Yunusa say, "This our code na ancestral shit mountain—if you smell am, you fit faint." Yunusa go laugh, say, "Bros, no be you talk am o!"

Me, I dey call am ancestral shit mountain.

That name stick. Even for meetings, if I just raise hand say, "This our ancestral shit mountain…" some people go hold laugh. Na so the thing take be part of our team culture.

Na on top this mountain Palm Grove Tech business dey stand.

I dey look am sometimes dey wonder how company still dey survive. Na grace and packaging dey save dem. But this is Nigeria—anything fit survive, as long as you sabi spin the story.

If dem just add AI join, na wahala for maintenance later.

I warn dem that time, "If una carry AI put for this pot, the soup go sour." Musa no send me.