Chapter 3: Moving On, Kaduna Bound

Morning.

Alarm ring like church bell. My body heavy, my heart dey knock.

I off alarm, just dey look ceiling.

The ceiling paint dey peel, small spider dey waka. Harmattan breeze dey sneak from window, make body cold. I dey count ceiling lines, dey reason my life.

My mind scatter.

E be like say I dey inside river, water dey cover my head.

Sleep no enter my eye last night.

I just dey roll for mattress, dey press phone. Seyi message dey enter, but I no get energy to reply.

I dey Google: “How to forget babe wey break your heart fast?”

Google nor get answer for Naija man heartbreak. All dem go just dey talk rubbish.

All the answer na: cry, find work, read book, think your life.

I laugh. If to say na cry dey solve am, man for don turn river Niger.

But as I sit for sofa, tears no come.

Na dry pain. The kind wey if you try cry, e go choke you.

I start pack my things, plan to move out.

My mind dey tell me, "Guy, no stay for house wey memory dey chase you."

This house get two rooms, parlour—big, but far from work.

If no be her, I no go rent am.

Now, as I dey look around, every chair dey remind me of one gist or the other.

Now we don break up, make I just move.

E go better to start fresh. Even landlord nor go recognize me again.

But as I pack, I realize say Amara really no get anything for here, na my things full everywhere.

All the kitchen utensils, bedsheet, even the brush—na my own.

No wonder she just waka leave everything.

True true, nothing get value.

Na so e be. Wetin nor dey cost her, she nor go collect.

I sleep around four a.m.

I dey turn like bread for oven. Eye red, brain dey hot.

Off light, turn and turn, dey refresh phone, dey open app, nothing dey enter my head.

Even Twitter nor dey sweet again. Netflix show dey boring. Heartbreak fit wound man reach bone.

Till morning light enter room, alarm ring.

Na that light naim remind me say another day don come, whether pain dey or not.

I stand up, eye red.

I look mirror, see face like masquerade. If person see me, dem fit think say I fight last night.

Bath, change.

I dey force smile. If I nor smile, neighbor fit ask, "Guy, you dey okay?"

Do small push-up, make I no look like zombie.

If you no fit cry, at least sweat.

Carry my bag, ready to hustle for danfo.

Na Monday, so traffic go choke.

But knock land for my door.

I pause, look peephole.

I no dey expect visitor. My heart dey beat like talking drum.

Na flash of red dey for corridor.

Red hair dey shine. I think say na postman, but e nor be.

I open door, na Zainab just jam her head for my door.

She dey chew gum, dey look me like say she dey enter Big Brother house.

I freeze, frown. “Wetin you dey find?”

She smile, try raise gift bag for hand. Her eye dey shine, mouth dey twist. “No vex, I just wan talk. Abeg.”

Her eye bright, like she see helper. She push all the things for her hand give me.

Bag dey heavy, like say she dey do Christmas sharing.

“Abeg, I come apologize. Sorry, na my fault before. I too small—abeg no hold am for mind.”

I step back, no collect anything.

The last time person do me strong thing, na so dem come with gift. I no dey fall twice.

Na plenty gift bag, all this expensive brand, one even full of cash.

The bag na Gucci, the cash dey peep like say na promo.

“Wetin be all this?”

My voice rough. If na old me, I for dey happy, but now, e no sweet me.

She see say I no collect, her face fall. “I just wan beg, na true.”

Her pride dey low, she dey shuffle leg, eye dey ground, like pikin wey teacher catch for noise.

I look her well. “Na Amara send you?”

If na plan, make dem yarn me sharp.

She freeze, shake head. “No, Amara no know.”

Her mouth dey tight, eye dey move like say she dey fear something.

One man voice cut her story: “Na me send her. Sorry, Mr. Lawal.”

Na baritone voice, e cool but strong.

One man show from stairs, wear mask, dark glass, dress fine but coded.

Na suit with native touch—agbada blend with foreign design. Shoe shine, no sand.

Tall, strong, dress show say him no be small boy.

The way him waka, you go know say e dey used to respect.

He waka come, stand with Zainab, remove glass, stretch hand. “Hello, make I introduce myself. Na me be Obinna Eze, Zainab brother.”

If say I dey dream, na now I for wake up. Obinna Eze for my corridor? Chai.

“I be Zainab brother. I hear about their play for your side, so I carry her come beg.”

Him English soft. Even apology dey gentle. My head dey swirl.

Obinna Eze na Zainab brother.

E shock me. All the time I dey watch am for TV, I no know say him get hand for my matter.

I shock small, but e make sense.

I dey connect all the levels. E be like say my heartbreak na family contract.

Amara and Zainab na padi, she stand for Obinna Eze for event.

So all the connection clear now—na rich people dey run this life like chess.

All of them dey the same rich people group.

But wetin he talk next make me shake head. “No need to beg.”

I wan waka enter house, but he hold ground. E dey show say this apology na big deal.

“No, na Zainab do anyhow. She too stubborn, Amara no fit say no, so she join the play. Na my fault for no train my sister well. So apology dey right.”

I just dey watch him face. Him voice calm, but e get weight. E be like person wey fit settle land dispute for village.

As he talk, he push the gift bags for my hand. “Just small something, take am as make up.”

Na so he push am gently, like say e dey hand over chieftaincy staff. But me, I just dey look the bag, I nor even move.

“And, Amara and I go soon do engagement. I know say you and her date, but everybody know say na mistake. So abeg, from now, no disturb her again, abeg.”

My ear dey buzz. This man just dey reason me like houseboy.

“Na wetin Amara want?”

I dey look his eye. I want make him talk say na true.

“Mr. Lawal, even though una don break up, now wey you know her real background…”

He stop, smile. E be like say e dey pity me.

He nod, smile like say e no dey see my face.

E pain me, but na so e be.

But that moment, I just feel like clown wey no get where to hide.

I dey remember the day I buy gala for Amara—na so she collect, smile, say "Na only you dey treat me like queen." Now, I be joke.

After break up, I feel pain, but till now, I never really vex for Amara.

E be like say my body don tire to dey vex. I just wan rest.

Because I believe, even if e start bad and end bad, after three years, she suppose know who I be.

If na me, I go talk truth. Even if love end, respect suppose dey remain.

I no care if she get money, and I no go ever beg her for money or dey chase her like mumu.

Na pride still dey my body. I no go turn beggar because of woman.

But the man just dey smile, dey press:

“Mr. Lawal, you fit do am, abi?”

E dey look me like principal dey wait for answer. I just nod small, close door gently. Man must maintain level.

4.

I just finish send project plan to team lead for check.

My office cold. AC dey blow, but my body hot.

Even as I dey tire, my mind dey on wetin Obinna Eze talk this morning.

The matter dey my head like hangover.

I tell am, “No wahala. Since we don break up, I no go ever disturb my ex again, rich or poor. So abeg, carry your things—me I no need.”

I talk am with calm face, but inside me, my stomach dey turn.

But he no even look down, just smile, “Just small things, e no reach anything. If you no want, throw am away.”

Na their level. Money nor dey mean anything to them.

As he talk, na the same way Amara dey talk.

I dey remember all the times she say, "If you no want, throw am." I dey reason how e dey easy for them to waka comot from anything.

That kind talk, e go dey like say e no mean bad, but e dey pain for body.

E be like slap for chest. You go think say you be joke for their eye.

Because I remember Amara birthday.

I save money for one month buy perfume and small teddy bear. She collect am, smile, but now I dey reason if she even use the perfume.

I hustle die, manage buy her gift, give her those things—wey for her eye na nothing—like say na gold.

For my mind, I dey feel say I try. For her, na normal.

She fit dey look me like clown too.

I dey reason say, all the time I dey try, na just play I dey do for her stage.

Coworker knock my desk.

I almost jump. My mind dey road.

I clear my mind. “Wetin happen?”

He smile. “You never check group chat? Manager dey find you—she say make you enter her office.”

My heart beat. Hope no be sack letter?

“Ah, okay, I dey come.” I arrange myself, thank am, waka go manager office.

Na big woman. She dey wear glasses, voice soft but sharp.

She call me about old work matter.

I dey reason if I make mistake for last report, but she just smile.

Company dey do car show for Kaduna. Branch people no get experience, so dem need person from HQ to run am.

She dey reason say I get sense, make I go set ground.

Promotion, double salary.

I pause. Double salary na temptation. Even heartbreak go fear that kind news.

Only wahala: after project, I fit stay for Kaduna for like half year.

I dey calculate for my mind—rent, wahala, new friends. But salary go cover am.

About two weeks ago, manager don ask me before.

That time, Amara still dey my life, so I dodge.

I dodge, say I no get experience.

Now, nothing dey tie me for Lagos again.

But she sabi say na excuse.

I dey suspect say she get sixth sense.

So she ask again.

I just nod. No more attachment.

This time, I no dodge.

After I pack, one week later, I leave all useless things for my old house, put the one I no fit carry for Seyi place, tell am to send am when I settle for Kaduna.

Seyi still dey ask, "You sure say you go like North?" I just tell am say, "Na hustle."

Company book hotel for me, so I just go straight from airport.

First time I enter plane since NYSC. The way the flight dey bounce, I dey pray under breath.

Before I leave, Seyi insist on send-off suya.

He buy extra pepper, say make I carry Naija taste go North.

We go back to University of Makurdi side, that our usual spot.

The old suya man still dey. Him still dey use same dirty towel.

As I wan pick soup, I just choose catfish pepper soup.

Old habit dey die hard. My mind still dey remember old times.

Seyi look me. “Wait, when you stop dey chop pepper?”

I blink, I dey reason am. True true, na catfish I dey order since.

I confuse. “I dey chop pepper.”

Na pride dey make man talk. Even if fire dey your mouth, you go say na breeze.

“So why you dey choose catfish? Both of us dey chop pepper—just choose goat meat.”

I smile. Seyi sabi me reach bone. If na lie, him go catch am.

Na that time I see say I tick catfish.

“Na mistake,” I talk, then change am to goat meat.

We laugh. Na small thing, but e remind me say change dey happen for body, you nor go know.

But true, na habit.

All the while, I dey try adapt for woman. Love dey turn man to chameleon.

Because Amara no dey chop pepper.

She go dey do like say she fit handle, but once taste hit her, she go rush drink water.

When we first start, we no too dey do suya.

We dey cook for house, watch film. She dey complain say suya dey make her hand smell.

She say e too noisy, better make we chop for house.

But later, she begin ask if I wan suya.

I dey happy, dey think say na progress.

When we order goat meat, she go dey sweat, dey drink malt, no dey chop, just dey drink.

I dey laugh, she go dey squeeze face. "Odogwu, you wan kill me with pepper?"

But after we comot, she go still say, “Because of you, odogwu, I fit handle pepper now.”

That line dey sweet me. I dey feel say my love dey change person.

I remember her fine face for streetlight, that her silly smile, my heart just dey melt.

I dey remember how she go wipe sweat for brow, dey do like champion. Now, na all memory.

Later, na only catfish we dey order.

I con dey form like say na me like am. True true, na her I dey please.

As I come back to myself, Seyi don order plenty meat, dey ask if I want more.

Him own na 'party after party.' I dey look the plate, dey reason if e no go choke.

I shake head. “No need, you choose.”

Na so we dey do since school.

“No try save money for me, Lawal, next time na your turn and I go chop you finish.”

Seyi sabi chop. If food dey table, na war.

“Then next time, make we do buffet.”

We both laugh, old gist dey sweet.

“Comot there.”

Na so Naija boys dey bond. Small food, big laughter.

We just dey gist, dey laugh.

If heartbreak dey, e go hide for corner when correct gist land.

But we no talk why I dey leave.

Na man matter—sometimes silence dey better.

No work tomorrow.

Na rare luxury. I dey plan sleep like say na holiday.

We both drink.

Chilled Star, cold like harmattan. Small happiness dey enter body.

I just red small, but Seyi don high, dey sing “African Queen” for my ear, voice just dey crack.

The way e dey sing, if 2Baba hear, e go retire. Neighbors dey look us, but we nor send.

I hold am with one hand, dey pay with my phone.

Na so POS girl dey eye me. I dey pray make payment go fast.

As I look away pay, he don run go disturb people for counter.

Seyi dey craze. If drink catch am, na comedian him turn.

As I finish pay, I see am dey lean for table, dey talk to one girl.

He dey toast the girl, voice dey high, "Madam, you look like heartbreaker."

Na so the girl dey laugh, dey cover face. Me, I dey embarrassed.

I just dey get headache.

Hangover dey begin form. I wan run, but Seyi nor gree.

I rush go drag am, dey beg the people wey he disturb.

I dey talk "Sorry, sorry," dey pray make fight nor start. Na so Lagos be.

But person just call my name. “Lawal, see as we jam!”

The voice dey sharp. I turn, na surprise.

I look, na Zainab dey there.

She wear red wig, lips red, eye dey shine. My mind dey race.

I pause, my mind just dey think bad thing.

If Zainab dey here, then…

I dey fear say drama go burst again. My mind dey reason plan B.

I turn, I see Amara dey sit for table edge.

She dey quiet. She just dey look her phone, finger dey play for screen.

Seyi still dey point her. “Young lady, you na real heartbreaker. For my mind, you suppose dey do charity forever—maybe even cut your hair, become reverend sister, make you pay for all the hearts you break.”

Even for drunkenness, Seyi dey sense heartbreaker from afar. I wan cover his mouth with hand.

But Amara no talk—she just dey look me.

Her eyes red. I fit see pain, but pride dey cover am.

All of them quiet.

E be like movie—everybody dey wait for soundtrack.

I just dey wish say I no give Seyi that last beer.

If to say I know, I for stop for two bottles.

I finally drag am go door.

He dey stagger, but he no gree. Na real wahala.

But he no gree, dey struggle. “No stop me, I dey read people destiny.”

E go soon fall, na so I dey hold him like mama dey drag pikin for church.

5.

As I drag Seyi out, we squat for door, I dey sweat.

The breeze outside dey blow, but my mind dey hot.

As I dey call cab,

Uber dey ring, Seyi dey fall for ground. One bouncer dey look us like say e dey reason whether to pursue us.

I tell Seyi, “Abeg, rest.”

I dey whisper, "Guy, hold body. No fall my hand."

But he look me, then sniff.

He wipe eye, voice dey shake. Real man dey bleed, but e dey hide am.

“Lawal, you leave your guy for woman. You still be my guy?”

The guy just dey cry, hold my shirt.

E dey squeeze me. If not because of love, I for push am commot.

Two guys dey drag each other—everybody dey look.

I dey hear whispers. Some dey pity us, some dey laugh.

But I know say Seyi really get my back. My nose sef dey pepper me. I wan give am tissue, but no see any.

I dey touch pocket, hand dey empty. Na so Lagos dey.

“Use this.”

Familiar voice for back.

Na so my heart skip beat. I turn, see Amara for back.

Fine, slim hand stretch give me handkerchief.

E be like say breeze pause. I dey reason whether to collect or not.

I no collect am.

Pride still dey my bone. I use my sleeve clean Seyi tears.

She pull hand back, voice calm. “You block me?”

Na question wey sharp pass knife. I look away, I no answer.

I no answer, finish cab call, help Seyi go wait road.

If drama go start, make e no be for public.

But she follow, hold my sleeve.

I shake her hand off, vex. “Amara, you dey okay so? You talk say e don finish, break up, say make I no disturb you—wetin you want again?”

I dey try control voice, but e dey shake.

As I shake her off, she frown, just talk three words: “I’m sorry.”

Na so women dey do. Dem go wound you, come say sorry like say na slap for joke.

But me, I just dey laugh.

My laugh loud, pass motor horn. People dey look, but I nor send.

“Amara, you no feel say this your sorry too late?”

My voice dey break small. Na so pain dey catch throat.

She see me dey laugh, frown. “If you vex, shout for me. No dey do like this.”

E pain her say I dey use laughter cover pain. I dey see am for her face.

“No, I vex before, but now, I no send. Three years—if na dog or cat, I go love am. But you? No reach. So I happy—the earlier we break up, the better for me.”

Na real talk. If heartbreak dey kill, I for don die.

My phone ring—driver dey call.

I pick, voice calm, "Yes, I dey come." Na so Lagos dey. Heartbreak nor dey stop Uber.

I see cab don reach, off screen, talk, “I dey go. Make we no see again.”

As I dey walk go cab, my chest dey light small. I no look back.

But for my mind, I dey wonder—na true sorry or na new wahala dey start?

As I reach house, friend request land.

No picture, no note—just three words: I’m sorry.

Her stubbornness no get limit. I dey reason if na real apology or drama.

I know who send am.

No need to guess. Her style too obvious.

I ignore.

I dey try move on. Na so Naija boys dey do—block, delete, move.

But she no gree.

Like stubborn mosquito, she dey try all angle.

She use different account—note change from “Fine boy, make we know each other,” to “Looking for agent for online business,” to “I be your boss, change number, add me.”

I dey laugh. She dey try all level, but my mind dey strong.

Last last, maybe she see say I no dey fall, she write: “I’m sorry, odogwu, I really know I wrong, but abeg, make I explain?”

The "odogwu" catch me. She dey try use old love soft my mind.

I just dey laugh, reply only that one: “Explain wetin? Say you be liar, or say you dey play me? You wan break up, then invite me for your wedding with Obinna Eze?”

E pain me, but na so I drop am. Make she know say I nor send again.

This time, she quiet.

I dey reason say maybe na now she go finally rest.

As I reach Kaduna, branch send person pick me.

The weather dry, breeze dey blow sand enter eye. Aboki dey hawk fura for junction, keke dey shout for passenger. I dey drag my Ghana-Must-Go bag, dey look for signboard.

She hold sign with my name, long hair, cool babe—she stand out for the girls wey dey wait for celebrity.

She wear Ankara jacket, shoe clean, phone dey hand. Her smile sweet.

“Hello, Lawal.”

Her handshake firm. Her perfume fresh, I dey wonder which brand.

She shake me. “Hello, Yetunde.”

Her voice soft, but get ginger. I dey feel say I go enjoy Kaduna.

Manager for Kaduna planning, my new boss, na Yetunde.

She dey organize things. The way she dey yarn, I sabi say she get sense.

So as I hear the name, I pause small.

I dey reason if na Yoruba Yetunde or Benue. Na Nigeria—name no dey show tribe again.

“I think say na assistant you go send.”

Yetunde talk, “Assistant dey on leave—her cat wan born.”

I burst laugh. For Lagos, who dey get leave for cat? Kaduna soft.

“You fit get leave for that one? This branch soft o.”

Yetunde laugh, lead the way. “Na so e soft—you go enjoy here.”

Her voice calm me. Small gist dey sweet journey.

I laugh join.

Na so we dey enter car, driver dey play Arewa hip-hop.

Funny boss dey good.

I dey reason say, e go better here.

My fear of new city reduce small.

If na before, I for dey panic. Now, I dey hope for better tomorrow.

For car, Yetunde run me through work. E plenty, but manageable. But since I be new person, I go need time to blend.

She dey talk say dem dey work hard, but weekends na groove.

We reach hotel, I check in.

Room fine, AC cool. Na upgrade from my Lagos room.

Plan na to wait till work settle, then find house weekend.

I dey reason say maybe I go like this place, settle down.

But for car, Yetunde tell me say big exhibition dey come, so things go soon busy. I reach early, work never start till Monday. Make I use days find house.

Na opportunity. I dey pray make agent nor scam me.

But as I just call agent, wan comot, Seyi message me:

“Lawal, Amara come find me—dey ask if you move, and where you dey now.”

My body cold. This babe still dey chase my shadow?

I frown, I think say I don clear yesterday.

I dey wonder whether na love or na pride dey push her.

I no just understand why she still dey disturb me.

Life nor dey ever finish drama. I just shake head, keep phone for table.

Na pride?

Abi na pain? Abi she just wan win last round? For this Nigeria, everybody get their own secret.

Because I no send her again, she feel say I dey ignore her power?

I dey pray make this my new life for Kaduna go sweet pass old one. If drama go still come, make e come with small joy this time. Because for Naija, even fresh start fit get small pepper.